Wish Upon a Star

Life Can Fulfill Your Wildest Dreams

Leaving Room for an Unexpected Change

Wish Upon a Star

So I know I recently wrote about surprises and how life can be shocking in my entry, Shh...It's a Surprise, but life has given me yet another unexpected pleasure that I feel the need to continue the discussion. As I mentioned before, I am currently on vacation with my Mother in the Cayman Islands. Our first two days were rainy and I was starting to feel a bit cheated. I hadn't gotten my fill of sun and my tan was not quite up to my personal standards. I expressed to my Mom how much I wished that we had just one more day here. But, of course, it was simply a wish and I had no reason to believe that it would ever come true. Finances, schedules, and personal obligations demanded that we return home the previously decided date. I had not left room for unexpected change nor did I take into account that life can surprise you and fulfill your wildest dreams. Less than 24 hours after I had expressed my longing to stay here an additional day life stepped in, in the form of a nor'easter heading towards Philadelphia, which consequentially interfered with our travel plans and forced us to push back our departure date. Perhaps my futile attempts at wishing weren't so futile after all. Maybe someone or something up in the heavens heard me. Maybe this wonderful, unexpected change is a result of good karma. Or perhaps it is just dumb luck. But, regardless of the reason, life has managed to shock me again and fulfill my wildest dream. 

"Life is a ticket to the greatest show on earth."

- Martin H. Fischer

My luck recently has proven this quote to be true. I have been gifted some phenomenal surprises over the course of the past few weeks. These unexpected changes have truly made for a grand "show" and I am finding that my ticket was worth any cost I may have paid in order to obtain it. We often associate change and the unexpected with negative feelings, results, and things. We are warned to always leave room the unexpected so that we don't get our hopes up, so that we are prepared when things don't work out, and to reduce the potential for disappointment. We forget that sometimes leaving room for the unexpected can be about prepping for exciting surprises and positive outcomes. 

I think its time that we start thinking about unexpected changes in a new way. Instead of assuming that they are bad we need to start considering that perhaps they can be good, even more than good; they can be credited for fulfilling our wildest dreams, whatever they may be. In my current case leaving room for an unexpected change required that I reorganize my schedule, count my pairs of clean underwear, and permit myself to let go and go with the flow of our new plan. Leaving room for the unexpected means allowing yourself a level of flexibility so that you can adjust to the change. Although I wasn't initially prepared for this extra day of vacation I was able to work with this change and allow myself to enjoy this bonus day. Of course accounting for the unexpected and being flexible is easy when its involving an added day of vacation or a situation that fulfills a seemingly impossible wish. The real question is, how do we manage to go with the flow when the change is less than ideal? So, I guess I want to try and tackle two ideas in the remainder of this entry: altering the negative associations that we may have with the unexpected and change, and figuring out how to leave room for unexpected changes, regardless of whether the change brings about positive or negative results.

Life Can Fulfill Our Wildest Dreams

Lets first deal with the way we look at change and attempt to reduce its negative connotation. Lets try to figure out how we can see unexpected change as possibilities, as positive, even as having the potential to fulfill our wildest dreams. I am going to present two quotes that I would like for us to consider with respect to life and change.

"Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like."

- Lao Tzu

Tzu's quote is congruent with my statements regarding change as being unexpected and often surprising. He asserts that resisting change will only result in sorrow or unhappiness. This is another notion that I find to be true. The more we attempt to stop change from occurring, the stronger we hold on to the past or the way things once were, the more difficult it becomes to accept the new reality in which we live. Life does not stand still for anyone. Our time on earth is a truly a process and full of natural changes that come with the course of life- aging, having children, switching jobs, meeting new people, building friendships. We are constantly adding to our lives and likewise things are always being taken away, whether we like it or not. What we must focus on is acceptance and allowing life to progress in whatever way it chooses, because ultimately we have very little control over the "flow" of life.

"Don't resist [change]; that only creates sorrow."

Sometimes this flow works in our favor, like the nor'easter that has consequently extended my vacation. But often it works in ways which we don't appreciate, such as the loss of a loved one or the dissolution of a friendship. How can we learn to deal with life's "natural and spontaneous changes," learning to associate the unexpected with both the good as well as the bad? Well, this is where the second quote comes into play. This quote refers to the French concept of joie de vivre or joy of life, which I discussed at greater length in my recent post, C'est la Vie.

"Joie de vivre is about trusting that nothing happens without reason, and everything can turn out positive in the future."

- Jamie Cat Callan

Armed with these two quotes, I believe that we have the ability to alter the way we in which we think about life's changes and the unexpected. I think that we can learn to trust the natural flow of life and realize that even shifts that we initially regard as bad, can ultimately be seen as good. I'll admit that this is not an easy task. 

"I have spent the majority of my life avoiding change."

I have spent the majority of my life avoiding change. I have wasted many hours mourning the loss of relationships and wishing to return to earlier periods in my life. But, as Tzu said, resisting the change only brought about sadness. My feelings of nostalgia and sorrow may have been warranted by they truly were wasted. The change had happened, because that's the way life works, and no tears or anguish could stop the natural progression. It hasn't been until lately that I have learned that change does not equal bad. Unexpected does not mean unfortunate. In actuality both equate to not only progress but also possibilities. Life's unexpected changes have the potential to fulfill our wildest dreams if we remain open to the idea. If we are able to apply Callan's words to our everyday thinking than we are equipped to challenge our previous views of change, life's flow, and new realities. 

In Cayman taking advantage of this unexpected change-

Things happen because they are meant to be and not only that, everything has the chance to turn out positively. A cynic could look at this statement and scoff at its naivety or unsupported level of optimism. But for a moment lets try to remove the cynicism that so frequently taints our minds and thoughts. Lets think about these optimistic ideas with fresh eyes. Believing that "nothing happens without reason" allows us to provide an explanation, although not concrete, for each of life's twists and turns. I think there is a point in all of our lives when we find this notion to be true. We are running late for an appointment and as we are driving we see that a car accident has taken place just minutes earlier. Had we not been running late we easily could have been involved. The frustration of running late is diminished because in actuality it saved us from a larger problem. Or, during course registration, we are unable to get into a class that we had wanted. Later we hear friends complaining about how dull the professor is and the ridiculous amount of work that the class involves. The initial irritation we experienced because we couldn't get into the class disappears. Instead we are thankful that we managed to avoid a course that in reality is not as good as it appeared on paper. 

Things happen all the time that piss off, frustrate us, make us sad or angry, etc. But, so often, in hindsight, we are able to realize that we are better off for it. This concept feeds directly into the latter part of Callan's quote, "everything can turn out positive in the future." Events and experiences that at first we regard as bad or disappointing have the possibility to work out in our favor later on. At the beginning we may not understand or like life's natural flow. But, if we don't resist it, if we allow it to run its course, we may find that these "natural and spontaneous changes" bring us to exactly where we are supposed to be. Life's flow allows for things to work out, and sometimes it even fulfills our wildest dreams as long as we don't attempt to intercede of interfere. 

"Life's flow allows for things to work out..."

Now that I've attempted to alter our perceptions of change and the unexpected it is time that we deal with the issue of making room for unexpected changes. It's easy to be flexible and make room when the shift is overtly positive. The task becomes harder when the change, which so often was not anticipated, is seemingly bad or negative. I guess part of our willingness to be flexible and work with the shift comes from necessity. If we have lost our job or are forced to move for reasons that are beyond our control then we don't really have choice. In these cases unexpected change has been thrust upon us and consequently we have no choice but to adjust. But can we figure out a way to make the adjustment less painful and/or less forced? Can we incorporate a degree of flexibility into our lives and personalities so that newness and abrupt shifts don't jolt us so strongly? Is there a way that we can always leave room for an unexpected change in order to improve the way in which we respond to these shifts?

Flexibility in life is key-

"A guarantee in this life: Change! Flexibility is better than predictability!"

- Evinda Lapins

Just like Tzu, Lapins asserts that the only guarantee in life is that we will experience change. While her words seem typical and not exceptionally different from many other quotes, I chose her quote for a very specific reason. In my weird little mind, something about it alluded to an element of fun that comes with flexibility. Flexibility is preferable to predictability because predictability is boring and monotonous. Yes, change can be exhausting because it brings something new to the table; it demands that we make adjustments and learn to manage things that we hadn't needed to before. But, I am arguing that predictability, the same old routine, can be just as exhausting. Is it not tiring to do the same thing day after day, without the possibility that life may throw you something unexpected, something new and fun, a pleasurable experience that you hadn't anticipated, the chance that your wildest dreams may be met. Predictability is safe, but at the same time it is frustrating and dull. Could you imagine waking up every morning and knowing exactly how your day was going to progress, down to every minute detail? What is the point of getting up and living if you already know what is going to happen?

Flexibility and change can be fun !

Flexibility isn't just necessary but it is invigorating. It enables us to make room for unexpected changes and allows us  to embrace when life fulfills our wildest dreams, rather than responding to these unforeseen circumstances with stress and irritation. If we can approach life with a level of flexibility than our opportunities become infinite and we are able to truly enjoy pleasurable changes, on the off chance that our wish upon a star actually becomes a reality. 

"I am not forcing flexibility upon you."

I am not forcing flexibility upon you. You do have a choice. You can decide to live a life of predictability rather than one of flexibility. However, I must warn you that choosing predictability is not likely to work out in the long run, simply because it is not compatible with the nature of life. Life is ever changing, it flows in directions we never anticipated, and it takes us down roads we never could have imagined. If you choose to live a life of predictability than you will be poorly equipped to manage the constantly shifting nature of life. You are also opting to miss out on "the best show on earth." 

Sometimes we must resort to a new plan-

Life will shock and amaze us by tossing unexpected challenges and opportunities our way. If we pick predictability over flexibility than we are bound to miss out on life's ability to fulfill our wildest dreams. For these reasons, I strongly encourage you, as well as myself, to live a life of flexibility and fun. I understand how difficult this can be, (I am OCD and an incessant planner after all), but I firmly believe that refusing to be flexible will only serve to limit us and prevent us from enjoying the "show." If we can metaphorically throw our day planners out the window, (G-d forbid I ever do such a thing), and wrap our heads around the idea that things don't necessarily need to go according to plan in order to be great, than we have opened the door to accepting and making the most of every unexpected change that comes our way. 

Changes may not always appear to be good, often, at first glance, they can seem quite horrible. But, if we can learn to trust the "flow" of life, remind ourselves that everything happens for a reason, and incorporate flexibility into our lives, than we are sufficiently armed with the ability to not only accept change, but to recognize that it has the potential of fulfilling our wildest dreams.

Change happens so it's time that we learn to deal with it,
xo

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes, from Disney's Animated Film, Cinderella

Walt Disney's Cinderella (1950) "...the dreams that you wish may come true."

C'est la Vie!

You Get What You Get and You Don't Get Upset

Making the Most of Every Given Moment

Life is made up of a series of moments- perfect and imperfect. There are no guarantees in life and we can't expect that everything will work out as we have planned or imagined. I am currently on vacation with my Mom in the Cayman Islands. My family has been coming here for over a decade and in our minds it is truly the most fabulous place on earth. My Mother and I arrived arrived yesterday, expecting 5 days of warm weather and endless sunshine. However, our experience has not lived up to our expectations. Twenty minutes after our plane landed it began to torrential rain and it has not really let up ever since. It seems that our dream of laying out in the sun and soaking up the rays for the entirety of our vacation is simply not going to happen. But, what can we do about it? The weather is beyond our control. So are we going to mope around and let the less than ideal weather dictate our mood and ruin our vacation experience? Absolutely not. We are truly living by the phrase, you get what you get and you don't get upset. 
The trip may not being going as we had planned, and the weather may not be perfect, but that doesn't mean that we are going to throw up our hands and call the whole vacation as wash. Instead, we are choosing to make the most of the given moments by altering our expectations and finding different ways to enjoy ourselves. C'est la vie or that's life; it is not always perfect nor is it certain to work out in the way that you had hoped. The best that we can do is make the conscious choice to make the most of it no matter the circumstances. As the rain continues to fall outside my Mom and I sit in the lobby, sipping on cocktails, playing cards, and people watching. When the sun decides to make a brief appearance we rush outside, taking in its lovely warmth for as long as we can. And when the clouds choose to reappear and the rain begins to approach again, we scurry back inside to the comfort of the lobby, picking up our card game where we left off, and appreciating the time that we have with one another. We are together in one of our favorite places in the world. There is no way that we are going to let a bit of rain prevent us from having a wonderful time. We are taking what we are getting and we are not getting upset about it, because in truth, there are far worse places we could be right now. Not to mention, there a much less desirable people with whom we could be stuck. We are on vacation at our most favorite destination. We are not being subjected to freezing temperatures that Philadelphia is currently experiencing. Neither of us need to be focusing on work and consequently are not feeling the stress that work and school bring along. And we are just happy to be together without the distractions of daily life- family tension, academic or work related responsibilities, social obligations, the annoyance of errands, and the pressure of our typical fast paced routines. We are lucky enough to be far away from all of the aforementioned distractions and are thrilled to be able to appreciate this time that we have as Mother and daughter. It is so rare that the two of us are able to escape on our own. What a shame it would be to let some poor weather taint this experience. So we are choosing to make the most of every given moment while we are here, regardless of whether or not it is what we had anticipated. 

I picked up a book recently called, Bonjour, Happiness!: Finding Your Joie de Vivre by Jamie Cat Callan. I have only made it through the first chapter but it has already taught me a lot about living life and maximizing on its endless supply of joy. It describes the French concept of Joie de Vivre or joy of life as-

"[The] ability to enjoy what you have without worrying too much about what you don't."

This idea exemplifies the notion I proposed at the start of this entry, you get what you get and you don't get upset. Let us look at we have, and I mean genuinely look, and recognize the good that exists within it. Instead of imagining how life could be better by playing the "What if..." and "If only..." games, lets appreciate the greatness that lies in our own realities. Why continue to torture ourselves by believing that what we have in this given moment isn't enough? What good will it do us to fantasize about ways in which our lives could be improved if only we had more, if only things were different, if only it weren't raining? In actuality we have no idea whether or not this alternative reality that we have created would indeed be any better than the lives we are living. It seems like a waste of time to concern ourselves with what we are lacking. When we think too much about what could be we end up missing the beauty and joy of what is; we are so absorbed in thought that we lose the given moment. This notion of Joie de Vivre is further elaborated-

"It is about accepting what's in your life in the moment and feeling contented inside."

"...sipping on San Pellegrino..."

Using these two quotes in conjunction with each other can enable us to make the most of every given moment. Not only can we pay attention and appreciate what we do have, but we can feel genuinely happy with the now and enjoy it. What do I have right now? I have my wonderful Mother sitting by my side. I am sitting in a cozy chair in the comfortable lobby of our lovely hotel. I am casually sipping on San Pellegrino with lime and Pinot Grigrio. I have the time to write an entry for my blog without being burdened by the outside pressures of class, assignments, and college life in general. I have 3 and 1/2 more spectaculars days to spend on this beautiful island and it's over a week before I am forced to return to the pressure cooker that is the University of Pennsylvania. I may not have it all, but when I take the time to look at what I do have, I am able to recognize that I have an awful lot and I am truly "contented inside." As I find myself making the most of every given moment and being thankful, I start to believe that perhaps, I am really one step closer to achieving this French idea of Joie de Vivre, the joy of life. If we are able to embody this joy than I believe that we will find ourselves saying c'est la vie when encountering imperfect situations and facing unexpected obstacles. 

When we use this phrase, c'est la vie, we will be able to utter it with an air of light hearted-ness and casualness. C'est la vie, shit happens, and so it goes...that's life and we either accept it for what is and capitalize on it or we allow life and all its imperfections to bring us down. It's up to us; we have the choice. Shall we let the unfortunate or unexpected negatively impact the entirety of our experience? Will I allow a little rain disable me from enjoying my Mother-Daughter vacation? Or will we say, with an air of nonchalance, "c'est la vie," and opt to make the most of the given moment?
 

"Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have."

- Eckhart Tolle

Tolle's words take the ideas that I borrowed from Callan's book to a new level. While he discusses "the present moment" with a slightly different spin, I think that both Tolle and Callan are making the same basic point. Life is a continual series of moments. The moment in which I started writing that entry has passed, never to be returned to again, and now I am on to a new a moment. When I complete this entry I will be living in yet another moment. They just keep coming and going for eternity. If I don't make the most of this moment right now then I will have lost the opportunity. It may not seem like a big deal. What's the issue with not fully living a singular moment if there are billions more to come? And I must admit that there is some value in that question. Who cares if we lose a moment or fail to recognize its worth if its fleeting and/or soon to be replaced with a new moment anyways? 

Well, of course, I have an answer, and this is when I get to combine all the ideas that were proposed in the series of quotes provided throughout this entry. The "present moment," although intangible, is all we have. It is a brief segment of our lives. For all intensive purposes, this given moment is probably imperfect. (It is a rare occasion that we have a moment when all is ideal and everything has gone according to plan.) Are we supposed to sit around miserably, not acknowledging the joy that can be found in every given moment, while we wait for one of these allusive perfect moments to come our way? To me, that sounds like a pretty terrible way to live. Lets recognize that this moment right now is our life, although a minute period of it, and it is an opportunity for us to appreciate the beauty of what we have. Each given moment is a chance for us to embody the statement, you get what you get and you don't get upset. In reality happiness and joie de vivre doesn't come from not getting upset, but from rejoicing about the positive elements that fill each moment, even the seemingly imperfect ones.

If life is a series of moments, and if moments are fleeting, then why not try to make the most of every given moment and subsequently enhance your life as a whole? Don't let a single moment slip away before you have used it to its fullest potential, making it as fabulous as you possibly can. 

I am looking out the lobby window and it appears as if the sun is starting to peak through the clouds. I am debating whether or not I should risk it, and relocate poolside, or instead just stay exactly where I am, comfortably lounging with my Mother by my side. The choice is insignificant. I will be contented either way. This trip has not gone according to plan so far but what can I do? It is out of my control; c'est la vie! Life is unexpected, unpredictable, and imperfect. It is a never ending sequence of moments- good and bad, exciting and dull, happy and sad, fun and typical, perfect and imperfect- and we have the ability to capitalize on all of them, making the most of every given moment by realizing what we have and enjoying our many blessings. We rarely will experience a moment that we find worthy of deeming perfect. But this lack of perfect moments is not an excuse to give up on happiness, joy, and life! Lets not focus on the flaws or what seems to be missing or in need of improvement. Instead let us acknowledge the glory of what exists in this given moment and allow ourselves to feel fulfilled, at peace, and content. 

When we come across a moment that is less than ideal we can make the decision to put a smile on, say "c'est la vie," and make the most of it with what we have. When we stop thinking so much about what's missing, and in turn begin seeing all that is there, then we have the potential to seize and enjoy each moment, find the positives among a sea of flaws, and ultimately achieve a level of happiness that allows us to confidently say "c'est la vie," and truly believe it.

Appreciate the joy of all that surrounds you and you shall find your joie de vivre,
xo

You Can't Always Get What You Want, The Rolling Stones

Technology Overload

Old Soul in the New World

Navigating the "iWorld" and Beyond

Technology Overload

These past few days have been technologically eventful for this old soul. After writing a detailed and in depth post about gratitude, appreciating our abilities, and recognizing our own personal "zest," I was heart broken to discover that it did not save. If it had, my blog would have been updated two days ago. Clearly me and my old soul are not properly equipped to conquer this new world and its accompanying technology. Today proved to be just as stressful as I went through a technological overhaul and subsequently a technology overload. My father treated this old soul to a new iPhone and iPad. As I tried to sync both devices to my computer as well as each other I found myself becoming overwhelmed and stressed. These technological innovations are supposed to make our lives easier and more convenient. Yet, I seem to be incompatible with these new technogolical devices and I am concerned that I'll never be able to navigate the "iWorld" and beyond. Perhaps I am bound to be dedicated to my written day planner and personal cards.

Maybe I'll never be the most tech savvy person. But, it would be nice to be able to utilize the newest technology and navigate the "iWorld" without experiencing a panic attack. It would be reassuring to know that I could write a blog post without fearing that I may lose it to the intangible internet. It makes me wonder if I am truly an old soul or if I better fit in the category of "keep it simple stupid." Am I choosing to be unique by standing my ground and refusing to accept the "iWorld" and beyond? Or am I simply afraid of change and newness because I fail to understand or trust it? I am not sure. I am trying to thrust myself into the throws of this new world. But, doing so is causing me an uncalled for amount of stress; it is a stress that I am deeming technology overload. 

However, I am doing my best to become accustomed to all these technological opportunities while holding on to some of my old school rituals that I am comfortable with. I will continue to rely on my trusty day planner. I will opt to send hand written cards instead of impersonal e-mails. I will continue to religiously journal and read from hard copy books. 
But, I am choosing to delve into the "iWorld" out of practicality. The iPhone is just the most convenient device for me considering I am able to access both my e-mail as well as the internet from it. I am willing to try out the iPad seeing as it is significantly lighter than my laptop; I am certain it will help in reducing the mass amount of knots that I currently have in my back. I am trying to live as an old soul in this new (and ever changing) world; but, I am beginning to question whether or not this is feasible.

"But, I am choosing to delve into the 'iWorld' out of practicality."

I guess ultimately it comes down to two main questions. Firstly, how can we integrate change into our lives yet manage to avoid an overload, such as I experienced? And secondly, how can we make these shifts while staying true to our beliefs and ourselves? These questions expand beyond the realm of technology and innovation. How can we remain calm when experiencing life changes- going off to college, become an empty nester, getting married, becoming a parent or grandparent? And how can we hold on to our sense of selves while undergoing these life changes- small and major? I am going to offer us two quotes; the first quote is about change and the second is about self-acceptance. I am hoping that we can take a piece from each, integrating elements from both into our daily lives, and figure out how to maintain our personal qualities while simultaneously embracing change and newness.


"You must welcome change as the rule but not as your ruler."

- Denis Waitley

I liked this quote from Waitley because I felt as if it was on a similar track as my own notions regarding change. We know it is coming; we can't stop it. But, at the same time, we can't allow it dictate our behaviors, what we believe, or who we are. We must be willing to accept change and even test new waters at times; however, we need not allow change to completely alter our sense of being. I am willing to dabble in the "iWorld" but I refuse to let it completely change the way I live my life. You will not see me slyly sending emails underneath the dinner table. You will certainly never find me on Twitter or Instagram (no matter how many times my brother attempts to set both up for me.) And I refuse to give up on some of my forms of communication that are now deemed old-fashioned or out of date. This old soul is welcoming the changes that come with this new world; but, I am not letting go of actions and beliefs that are atypical, differentiating me in this age of insane technological advancement. This sentiment leads me into my next quote about self-acceptance & appreciation.

"...first rate version of yourself..."

"Always be a first rate version of yourself, intead of a second-rate version of someone else."

- Judy Garland

It is easy to lose a sense of who we are at our core in this ever changing world that promotes reinvention and self-improvement. The number of weight loss adds on television is alarming. To me they are saying that you are not ok just the way you are; you need to lose and change because somehow your outer appearance reflects who you are on the inside. The push to change from hard copies and hand written texts to technology is telling us that the old ways are no longer relevent or useless. Reality television shows that display obscene amounts of wealth and pure over indulgence promote a global shift. It is a shift that reflects a change in international values and changes that put greater significance on materialism and money. These three examples are just some from a host of changes taking place in our new world. We have a few options when looking at the "iWorld" and beyond. We can choose to completely ignore it; but in doing so we do a disservice to ourselves. We can't completely neglect the fact that our world is changing; but, if we make this choice we are sure to be disappointed because some day we will look around us and feel like foreigners in our own world and lives. We can opt to fully embrace everything that this new world has to offer and change ourselves in complete correspondence with the shifts going on in the world.

But, again, I need to give warning in taking this route. There is a part of us that is innate and completely unique to who we are. By allowing change to dictate our core values and beliefs, natural behaviors, and identity we are at risk of becoming "second-rate version[s] of someone else," rather than "first rate version[s] of [ourselves]." Instead I am proposing a third option. Let us accept change and innovation; let us find a way to integrate both into our already existing selves and lives. We can navigate the "iWorld" and beyond. We can appreciate change and choose to incorporate newness that seems practical and beneficial to our lives. But, we can simultaneously maintain our inborn value system and continue practices that are distinct to us. I can proudly say that I am an old soul in a new world. I will never be the most technologically savvy individual out there. (There really is no point in me even trying; it's not going to happen!) I believe that friends and family are more important than money and opulence. (Although I do appreciate a pair of designer shoes every once in awhile..haha.) 

Greeting cards- my guilty pleasure !

I won't succumb to social pressure that suggests that I throw my day planner out the window (G-d forbid) and give up on personal cards because email is "so much more convenient." I am willing to recognize and accept that changes are taking place around me and I am even up for taking part in these changes when they seem practical or it is absolutely necessary. But, I refuse to change who I am to the point where I no longer recognize myself. I am willing to settle on being a "first rate version" of my seemingly outdated self because in my eyes I am not really settling. To settle would be to embody all the shifts taking place around me; in doing so I would be sure to experience more overloads and certainly end up becoming a "second rate version of someone else." Changes- moving, graduating college, technological innovations, divorce, starting a family, political shifts, alterations in national values- happen and there is usually nothing we can do to stop them; it is out of our control. But, what we do have control over is how we opt to respond to these changes. Our responses can be separated into three schools: denial, embodiment, and integration. In this case I have to push for integration- recognize the new shifts taking place around you and make use of those that fit with your values and lifestyle. Allow change to help you in becoming a stronger, more productive, and better version of who you are already. Utilize innovation to become a "first rate version of yourself" because there is truly no one else out there like you.

Change is good when used accordingly,
xo

Here We Go Again

Getting Back in the Swing of Things

Acclimating to Our Usual Environment and Routine

Here We Go Again

I am officially back on campus and it feels as if I have never left. I don't feel as if I had a break at all. It seems that it has taken me almost no time at all to acclimate to my usual environment and routine. The campus feels as comfortable and familiar as it did when I left it in December. The classroom environment has not changed. The faces of the professors and the material may be different but other then that it all seems very much the same. I am maneuvering from class to class like a pro (now that I have been on campus for almost 2 years.) I am writing down assignments, attempting to adjust my class schedule, texting friends, and balancing my Trenta coffee and a cigarette in my mouth all at once. I have reclaimed my identity as Rachel, the coffee drinking, cigarette smoking, always organized and dedicated Penn student. I can't believe less than 6 hours ago I was snuggle up in my bed at home in the suburbs. Although it seems that I have acclimated rather quickly I still don't fully feel that I am in back in the swing of things. I am adjusting to life on campus, following my routine, and attempting to live up to my standards as a college student; but doing so is taking a great deal of effort on my part. There is a hint of, what I call, that "Here We Go Again" attitude. I give off the appearance that I am taking it all in stride. But, deep down, I am still exhausted, still struggling with the death of my friend, still fighting off illness, and still trying to recuperate after a very eventful and not so relaxing break. 

This semester feels like stale bread-

I don't feel the excitement and enthusiasm that I would like to feel as I approach the dawn of this new semester. It feels stale, old, and monotonous. Its lacks the freshness, energy, and openness that I associate with new beginnings; instead it exudes an air of here we go again...My post from yesterday, All Good Things Must End, offered and affirmation and discussed a level of determination required in order to get back in the swing of things in the hopes of completing tasks and pursuing our goals. I have managed to muster up this determination. I am here on campus. I am going to classes, reaching out to friends, and organizing my life in order to create a strong foundation for the Spring semester. But my determination is not met with an equal level of passion. As I said yesterday, desire is crucial element in building an unyielding determination. My desire to finish my undergraduate remains present and continues to push me forward. But, I want more than just a desire to complete the semester and ultimately graduate. I wish I wanted to be here. 

I'm ready to complete my college experience-

I wish I wanted to be learning, socializing, and participating on campus. It seems that sometime during the last few weeks or so I have lost my enthusiasm for being a college student and perhaps for life itself. I find life to be exhausting and somewhat daunting. I am 23 and I am still attempting to complete my undergraduate degree- When is it going to end? When will I be finished? When will I be able to enter the real world and embark upon my "real life"? 

I'm sick of the game; I want "real life" !

Mentally and emotionally I am ready to graduate now; however, my academic record says otherwise. It seems that I am bound to be a college student for at least 2 more semesters and it is up to me to figure out how to eliminate my here we go again attitude and replace it with some excitement and enthusiasm. I need to open my mind and my heart in order to discover a way to make these next few semesters fun, enlightening, and beneficial. We only are given one undergraduate experience; although mine has been atypical and extended it is still up to me to make the most of it and savor the opportunity. I am going to introduce an affirmation for us to consider in the hopes that it will help us to infuse our lives with some passion and fun-

I am constantly energized by life's possibilities.

New courses, professors, and possibilities !

This affirmation just popped out to me this afternoon. By approaching this semester with a here we go again attitude I have forgotten that this new semester offers a host of possibilities. Although a great deal of things- campus, friends, classes, workload, routine- feel the same as always I have to admit that they are not identical to last semester. I have already brought bags full of new decor for my apartment in order to give it a mini face lift. Yes, my friends are the same, but there is always the chance to meet new people and build upon the friendships that I already have. My classes and professors are completely different from last semester. I have the opportunity to be excited by new material and discover interests in topics that I have yet to study. And I have the chance to make connections with these professors who do not yet know me as a person or a student. So although a lot is the same, a lot is different as well; these differences create possibilities that can both energize as well as excite me. Rather than looking at this semester as yet another semester as a college student I need to look at as new, and with newness comes potential. 

I want genuine enthusiasm-

I am already feeling inspired by this affirmation. It has allowed me to open my eyes and see what makes this semester unlike previous semesters. It has enabled me to realize opportunities for creating and strengthening relationships. It has helped me recognize that there is still a great deal of information out there for me to learn, grasp, and absorb. New classes open doors for new interests and passions. Perhaps my Communications class will introduce a concept I have yet to encounter. My more advanced French course will certainly strengthen my aptitude for speaking and understanding the language. And my schedule is not yet finalized; I may end up in a class that is completely unlike anything I have ever taken before. 

Getting back in the swing of things implies a certain energy (the verb "swing" seems to express a level of enthusiasm or an energetic vibe.) I don't simply want to become acclimated to my environment and routine; I want to metaphorically swing along. I want to bop from class to class, task to task, and friend to friend with a level of unbounded energy and happiness. I want to be passionate about returning to my usual environment and routine. Let us abandon our here we go again attitudes; efface it from your mind and memory. We may returning to our usual environments and routines but that doesn't mean they are the same as when we left them. Instead of looking at our return to the usual as typical and predictable, let us look at the possibilities that come with starting again. It doesn't matter what you are returning to- work, campus, home, school, office- every domain possess a level of novelty and potential. Sometimes we spend so much time focusing on the elements that are the same that we fail to recognize aspects that are different and open the door to possibility. Maybe there is a new employee at your office who you could begin a friendship with. Perhaps you are getting a new roommate at school. You could organize your folders and assignments in a new way in order to incorporate variation into your life. You could add something new to your routine- plan to meet a friend for lunch every Wednesday, start following a new television show, begin journaling, write your own blog! If a new possibility isn't handed to you upon your return take it upon yourself to create one. Just thinking about new possibilities and the potential that this fresh beginning holds can help energize and excite you. Don't just acclimate to your usual environment and routine; get into the swing of things! 

Think about the potential and infinite opportunities that could await you as return to your everyday life. It may seem the same as it was before. It may look and feel identical to how you left it. But, it is not; it is different. Approach this return to school, work, or home with an openness; be willing to see changes and potential. If we allow ourselves to recognize the possibilities that exist within our lives than we are able to become energetic, enthused, passionate, and excited. Let us acclimate to our usual environments and routines while also noticing possibilities to invoke or embrace change. Lets throw a way our here we go again attitudes and add a swing to our steps!

Look for the possibilities and passion will follow,
xo

Get Back in the Swing of Things

Swing, Swing, The All-American Rejects