Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Yay, it's Today!

Celebrate the Fresh Morning

A Morning Affirmation and Quote

I awoke this morning feeling slightly better than last evening but the pain and unhappiness is still lingering. Personally the only way I can move past the feelings of yesterday is to pay full attention to the present and the newness of today. I am choosing to use both an affirmation and quote this morning because I need a little extra umph! The first is a morning affirmation-

Carve your day into a masterpiece-
I create my life with my thoughts and my actions. I decide what is important and necessary. I fill my day with positive and healing thoughts. I am worthy, confident, and capable.

We are the authors and artists of our own lives and days. We have the power to carve them in the way that we decide. Even if unexpected things are thrown are way we alone can choose what to do with or how to handle them. All choices- bagel or toast? feeling fat or thin? dress or shorts? kind or mean?- are made by us and dictate the course of our day. Some have larger impacts or are more significant than others but ultimately it's up to us. Today I will try to celebrate my right to choose and work to make choice the affect my mood, day, and life in a positive way. The following is quote in celebration of fresh mornings, our power to create and choose, and new starts-

Food sunrise, haha (Sorry I couldn't help myself!)
"Each day the world is born anew for him who takes it rightly."

- James Russell Lowell

I felt that this quote fit perfectly with the theme of this entry. Yes every new day offers opportunities, freshness, and potential but only if we choose to take advantage of it. With the rise of the morning sun comes the rise of endless possibilities and options. What will you choose to do with your day? Use this new day to your benefit and celebrate it! This will sound cliche but this morning is the beginning of the rest of your life. You can choose to start anew or continue in your old ways- it's completely up to you. If you're happy in your old ways than keep it up but if your wanting change, if you want a fresh start, the moment is here for you to take. Hold on tight and run with it! But don't be too disconcerted if today is not your day to make the all the changes and choices that you would like to because remember there is always a new tomorrow.

Celebrate today and your ability to design it the way you choose,

Which one will you choose today?

Monday, July 30, 2012

In the Heat of the Night

Sitting With Bad Feelings

"This Too Shall Pass"

Help, I'm drowning in my own sweat!
I am finally back from the family vacation that proved to be more stressful than relaxing. I arrived to my sweltering apartment dripping in sweat. I decided to change into a different pair of shorts- they were tighter than I remember them being- did I shrink them in the wash or is it my worst fear? Did I gain a significant amount of weight? My head began to spin and feelings of shame and guilt washed over me and continued to intensify. I had just ordered dinner but how could I eat now? I gained weight! I walked to the restaurant frazzled and angry. What was I going to do with this stupid meal now? I ran into a friend that was able to calm me down and level my head. The likelihood that I gained any real weight over the past few days is slim to none. As soon as I return to my normal routine my body will work things out and my weight will level (if it peaked at all.) In reality the shorts probably were shrunk and putting any type up of denim on to a sweaty body is never an easy task. So I was able to become a bit more rational and I ate my dinner. Now I am sitting in the heat of my apartment in underwear and a tank top forced to look at this body that I currently despise. I am sticking to myself from the heat and sweat. If it weren't so hot I'd bundle up and hide every inch of myself from sight but doing so in this heat would be absolutely ridiculous. Instead I am forced to sit with the bad feelings in the heat of the night and pray that tomorrow brings better thoughts and a strong sense of calm. Because my body image is so horrific at the moment (the key word here is moment, like all moments this too shall pass) I have decided to seek a quotation about body image and acceptance this evening rather than an affirmation.

She's got the right idea to stay cool- so jealous!

“You are not a mistake. You are not a problem to be solved. But you won't discover this until you are willing to stop banging your head against the wall of shaming and caging and fearing yourself."

- Geneen Roth

As I sit here body checking and feeling dissatisfied with what I find I so wish I could believe the words Roth states. But I will do them justice by repeating them to myself, entering them in my journal, and reciting them in prayers with the hope that they sink in. Whether your personal downfall is bad body image, intellectual insecurity, or fears of incompetence I think this quote is applicable. I hope for all our sakes that we are able to give ourselves a break and recognize that no matter our weight, intelligence, height, we are not mistakes. We have been created in G-d's divine image and therefore we are perfect in our imperfections just as we are. Perhaps one day I will be able to believe these words but tonight just doesn't seem to be the night.

Always remember this too shall pass,

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Happy Thoughts Make Happy Dreams

Closing the Day on a Good Note

Evening Inspiration

My family vacation is finally coming to a close and I find myself feeling relieved. I am looking forward to returning to my normal routine and patterns of what I am used to and comfortable with. It is always difficult for me to step out of my element- location, eating, drinking, sleeping pattern- for too long without feel worn out and anxious. It's a shame because vacations are meant to be relaxing but I always find them anxiety provoking. I am most certain I will feel better after a couple days at home and back in my comfort zone. For tonight I have decided to turn to an uplifting and inspirational quote rather than an affirmation. I am hoping that these positive worlds will stimulate our minds and result in happy thoughts and happy dreams.
My dream to feel on top of the world- success!

"The vision that you glorify in your mind, the ideal that you enthrone in your heart - this you will build your life by, and this you will become."

- James Allen

I think this quote perfectly accompanies the title of this entry "Happy Thoughts Make Happy Dreams." Not only do our thoughts impact our dreams they impact the way we live and the direction our lives will turn. If we envision a magnificent life for ourselves, outline it in our mind, we are able to achieve all that we wish. The only way to have positive results is to think positively. Negativity can only serve to bring both us as well as our dreams down. Our deepest desires, if believed in, can become our reality. At the end of the day it comes down to having faith and believing that we are capable of achieving these wants. Our wishes may seem lofty or unattainable and maybe some of them are. But, our only hope for achieving any of our dreams is to continue to envision them in our mind and fight for our own success!

Happy thoughts and dreams friends,

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Throwing in the Towel

Wanting to Quit But Must Keep Going

Where Do We Find the Strength We Lack?

These past days have been really rough for me and so many times I just think how badly I want to throw in the towel, succumb to my disease, and quit. But somehow I have continued to try, push through, keep going. And I wonder what is it that helps me continue when I don't have any belief in myself or my ability. I guess there is always the threat of being readmitted to treatment, the guilt of letting my family and parents down, my desire to finish my class and ultimately graduate. Maybe there is some hope or strength deep down inside that I am unaware of or can't see. However I think what truly keeps me going is the belief others have in me- their encouragement, supportive words, and certainty that I can do this. In the past I have had doctors tell me that I am going to die or that I "have the worst eating disorder [they've] ever seen." Luckily during these moments I had enough of my own strength to ignore this negative commentary and continue the fight. Now that I am having difficulty those words ring in my head every day. (Comments like that are hard to disregard especially in times of weakness.) But my Mom and Dad continue to tell me how strong I am and that they recognize my efforts. My doctor exclaims that she will be my "cheerleader" and that "I can beat this!" She won't let me die, she doesn't think I need to go back to treatment, she has faith that I can overcome this and I will be able to have a fabulous life- my eating disorder will not kill me. When it comes to any task or challenge that seems too much to handle sometimes the encouragement and strong belief others have in us is just enough to help motivate us and prevent us from quitting. One of my favorite quotes from Winnie-the-Pooh seems to fit perfectly with the theme of this post-

“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together... there is something you must always remember- you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.

- A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

When faced with a challenging task or trying to complete something you have failed at before it can be so hard to maintain belief in ourselves. While inner-strength and personal belief are the strongest motivators sometimes we need to rely on others to help get us through. Take advantage of the faith they have in us until we are able to muster faith of our own. I have gone back to this quote time and time again to remind myself that even if I don't feel powerful at the moment the strength is there hidden deep within me- it's just hiding for a little. And when these qualities are hiding I rely on the kind, encouraging, powerful words of my friends, doctors, and family. It takes a level of trust to believe them but sometime at the end of the day their faith is all I have and it is their belief in me that helps me to continue on when I desperately wish to quit. I have one more quote to share with you. I heard this quote from a friend 2 years ago and it has stuck with me ever since-

“Courage doesn't always roar, sometimes it's the quiet voice at the end of the day whispering 'I will try again tomorrow” 

- Mary Anne Radmacher

Although our strength or courage may not be overt it does not mean it is not there. We must trust those who believes in us and ultimately trust ourselves that we can do this, we are enough, and even if today was not ideal there is always tomorrow. If we keep trying and continue to put forth effort it means that there is something within us that wants to achieve (no matter the task) and somewhere deep down we have faith that we can. I can't believe in myself right now so I am graciously allowing others to hold the belief for me and to them I am forever grateful. If you don't believe in yourself find someone who does and ultimately the belief in yourself will come- maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday it will come. I have faith that it will for all of us!

Keep trusting, keep believing, keep trying,

When You Believe, Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston, The Prince of Egypt

Friday, July 27, 2012

Hangover of Hell

Mental and Physical Agony

Drunk Eating, Swollen Hands, Bad Body Image...

Oy-vey..no more please!
So here I am in Florida with my large Italian family- aunts, uncles, cousins and their significant others- and needless to say the food and alcohol is abundant! Upon my arrival I was immediately handed a frozen margarita and a beer and tossed into the craziness of a revved up drinking game! I expected this weekend to be fun and crazy but I didn't think much about the aftermath. Today I am feeling the repercussion of last night both mentally and physically. My headache is beginning to fade but my hands feel like balloons and my mind is going wild with thoughts of regret. It frustrates me that I can't just enjoy myself without feeling terrible the following day. I expect the normal hangover effects- headache, nausea, swolleness- but why must I have these debilitating and self-loathing thoughts? I just want to have fun with my crazy family this weekend but now I am afraid to let go and drink and eat up! Is this mental agony worth the enjoyable time I had last night? I am just not sure. The following is an affirmation regarding self-worth and body image to help me and maybe you as well with bad body image whether it be related to drinking and eating too much the night before or simply because that's how you are feeling today.

I let go of all negative images of myself. I focus on all that I have to be grateful for. I am capable of achieving whatever I set my mind to. All good things are coming to me today.
I chose this affirmation because it is exceptionally related to my current situation. How can I focus on all the negativity I am currently feeling toward myself when I should be thankful and appreciating the fact that I am surrounded by people who truly love and care about me. I can't let this eating disorder, these negative thoughts, the bad body image control me and ruin my time this weekend. I have been looking forward to it for too long! Don't let your thoughts ruin you day, whether it's a special a day or just the usual. Take a step and recognize what and who you have around you and be thankful. Perhaps if we focus on all the positive in our lives the negative thoughts will fade into the background.

Good luck enjoying your day and let the fun commence!

Just a portion of my crazy family at a previous drunken get-together!

Thursday, July 26, 2012

A Little Pick Me Up

Positive Thoughts for the Morning

An Affirmation and Quote

I woke up this morning feeling slightly better than yesterday but still not 100%. I am hoping that the following affirmation and words of wisdom will help all of us, pull us out of our hole, and extract us from darkness. The affirmation I chose follows-

Today I reaffirm my commitment to a healthier and happier life. As I walk the road to health and wellness, I stay positive and focused in the face of adversity. Step by step, day by day, I make the changes I want to see in my life.

This affirmation is especially relevant to me and my frame of mind because last night I was on the verge of giving up and just allowing my disease to have its way- ravage my mind, starve my body, destroy what is left of my life. As I awoke this morning I still don't feel fully committed to getting "better" (whatever that means, I believe it's different for everyone) but I am not in the same dark place I was in last night. I think we all have days when we feel defeated or that the task ahead of us is impossible. And I guess sometimes the only way to push through these doubts and negative self-talk is to put your mind to rest and sleep on it. The line that speaks to me most in this affirmation is "in the face of adversity." On paper it would seem that there is no true adversity in my life- I attended a private prep school, I'm currently at an Ivy League College, I am more than well taken care of by my family financially- I have lived a life of privilege. But what most people don't see are the struggles and adversity that I face every day- adversity that originates in myself, my DNA makeup, chemical processes in my brain, my mind. Each day is a test and a taxing task. Perhaps sharing this with you has enlightened you in a way I intend to originally. We never know everything about a person, especially acquaintances or strangers, and it only seems fair that we give them the benefit of the doubt we would appreciate. As Plato said "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle." Maybe their lives aren't harder, it's all subjective, but the point is no one has a perfect life. We must remember that. I'll leave you with an uplifting quote just as a little pick me up!

Did Mary Poppins invent the bitch/death glare?
"In order to get from what was to what will be, you must go through what is."

- Anonymous

Whatever your hope or dreams may be- a family, health, friendship, a specific profession, happiness- the only way to achieve them is to push through, keep going. As Winston Churchill once said "If you're going through hell, keep going." This is a quote I live by and often use as a mantra. Keep going, working, striving, reaching, inspiring, and loving. We will all face adversity at some point in our life but the key in facing it is intimidate it (give it a bitch glare if needed), and defeat it!

Keep pushing through no matter what comes your way,

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Leave Cookies for Santa

Final Thoughts for Today

An Evening Affirmation

Yummy in the tummy!
If you read my other posts from today you already know that I had very weird day. I was just unsettled and couldn't focus. I didn't want to do anything at all and I was and still am unhappy with my physical self. I guess to sum it up I have been in a very bad mental space. I didn't know what to do so I contacted my doctor and tried to talk it out. Ultimately she ended up contacting my professor and I have gotten an extension on my midterm, thank G-d. But more importantly I did my best to find self soothing activities in order to calm myself and get through the rest of the day without feeling totally insane! I went back to my apartment, journaled a bit using pre-written prompts, created a calming playlist, and am now currently baking cookies to share of course! I am starting to feel ok- definitely better than earlier today. Baking is an activity that helps me relax and enjoy it especially the part when I get to share and receive lots of complements about how delicious they are (hehe)! Plus there is the added bonus that now my apartment smells like yummy baked goods! Anyways my real point is that some day we just don't feel superb or ourselves but somehow we need to cope and get ourselves through until the end of the day. I for one am happy to say that this day is coming to a close and hoping that tomorrow brings a better day. On that note the following is the evening affirmation I have chosen for tonight-

Tonight my body and my mind will get the rest it needs. I will sleep deeply and peacefully. I will wake in the morning refreshed with positive, loving thoughts that will see me through the day.

What I want to emphasize about this affirmation is the concept of "loving thoughts." We don't have to love ourselves in our entirety but we are able to nourish ourselves with positive thoughts and energy in reference to ourselves. I am going to bring up the "Golden Rule," treat others how you would want to be treated, but turn it around. Remember to treat yourself how you treat others. Too often we neglect ourselves and forget that we too are important and deservant of love and care. I encourage you to repeat this affirmation and try to follow through with it tomorrow. Allow self-love to get you through your day. I think we will all be surprised how much better we feel at the close of the day after feeding ourselves positive thoughts rather than negative.

Sleep well and best wishes for tomorrow,

Lost Without a Map!

Feelings of Confusion

What Do You Do When You're Unmotivated, Uninspired- Simply Lost

I am very lost at the moment. No, I don't mean physically. I know exactly where I am physically. I am currently in Saxby's in West Philadelphia only 2 blocks from my apartment but I feel lost and without purpose. I have plenty of things to do- midterms to study for, journaling, writing letters, watching TV- multiple options both for work and play. But, nothing seems to be fitting the mood I'm in. I simply don't want to do anything but of course doing nothing isn't possible. Even when we feel like we're doing nothing we're clearly simply doing something even if it's just sleeping or lounging in bed. But I don't even want to do either of those lazy day activities. Not to mention that I don't have the time to do those activities because I have a midterm tomorrow that I must study for. I tried journaling thinking that a bit of soul searching may help me figure out what's going on that contributing to these feelings of confusion and lack of motivation. It didn't work. So here I am on my blog and writing at the moment actually feels kind of right. I think maybe a long for connection, talking with someone, an outlet for communication. Although I am not face-to-face with anyone reading this blog I am aware that my words are reaching someone. There is intention behind everything I write and I know at least one other person is this world is reading and hopefully appreciating what I have written. Perhaps that's what I need- connectedness. I will include a quote or two of course since that is the premise of the blog itself. The first is from Winnie-the-Pooh and it's actually something I don't agree with. It's a concession or counter point to my notion if you will-

“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” 

- A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

Is Pooh really doing nothing? Probably not. Maybe he's just eating or lazing around or not fulfilling any specific task. But, he's still doing something. Doing nothing is just not possible. The really question is what to do when we desire to do nothing?

I learned to be with myself rather than avoiding myself with limiting habits; I started to be aware of my feelings more, rather than numb them. 

- Judith Wright

I think this quote is more what I'm feeling and talking about. Maybe lost is just another word for numb. It is so easy to feel numb to yourself and the world around you when you're truly full of pain and sadness. We tend to feel numb when our life is too much bear. That's definitely the place I am in at the moment so I suppose I answered the question as to why I feel this way but now what? Well I have one more quote that resembles the act of using affirmations to me. But I'll try the advice- I'll try almost anything once!

When I feel depressed, I consciously form a smile on my face and act upbeat until the happy feeling becomes genuine.

- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

So I guess the cure is to smile, smile, smile. Smile til it hurts. Smile until you feel something. Smile until your numbness fades and you know what you want and need to do. Feel yourself and the world around you. Don't let the numbness overcome you and leave you barren emotionally. Life is fulling of feelings, good and bad, and the only way to actually live is to allow yourself to feel this emotions. Numbness can creep on you like a bad cold. You feel fine and don't see it coming and than BANG it hits you all at once and your hacking in bed with a fever. But numbing yourself is a cop-out. Fight against it and in doing so fight against your struggles, fears, and unpleasant emotions.

Smile, smile, smile,

All Smiles!

Body Image Woes

Positive Thoughts for the Morning

 An Affirmation and Quotes About the Body and Self-Worth

I woke this morning with terrible body image yet again. These past few days have been really rough in that sense and my urges to restrict have been absurdly high. But I know I can't afford to restrict. Not only will it cripple me physically and land me in treatment...yet again...it will inhibit the functioning of my mind. Even if I don't love my body I do at least appreciate my mental abilities and I know I owe it to my mind to remain nourished and in good health. To help me this morning I went digging around (metaphorically of course) for some encouraging words. I started with an affirmation-

My beauty cannot be defined by my physical appearance. My worth is constant and undeniable. Today I celebrate the beauty of my mind and my spirit. Today I appreciate the amazing and unique individual that I am.

As always the key to utilizing affirmations is to repeat the words even if you don't believe them at first. The more you repeat and acknowledge the words the more likely it will be that you can embody them and carry them with you through the rest of your day. I like repeating the mantra "I am worth it" and "I am enough." These mantras help me get through difficult situations and moments of self-doubt and I feel that they are exceptionally related to the above affirmation. The following are quotes that I came across that speak to all different elements of the body, its functions, its worth, and our duty to protect and care for our own bodies. The first two speak directly to the functionality of the body and how crucial it is in order for us to not only be alive but fully live.

"It's also helpful to realize that this very body that we have, that's sitting right here right now... with its aches and it pleasures... is exactly what we need to be fully human, fully awake, fully alive."

- Pema Chodron

"Our body is precious. It is our vehicle for awakening. Treat it with care." 

- Buddha

If we neglect to care for our bodies properly we end up doing a disservice to ourselves. This body is the only one that we will inhabit in this life time. If we destroy it now we are bound to live with the repercussions for the rest of our lives. Imagine throwing a huge rager in your apartment and then realizing that you have to live in that apartment with the surrounding mess for the rest of you life. You would be outraged! How could you continue to live in such a disgusting and untended space. Now think about your body. Every time we mistreat or neglect it's needs it's like throwing a huge party and then having to live in the mess. We are given one body, one home for our mind and spirit, we must care for it or suffer the unfortunate consequences. The last quote I chose stuck out to me immediately and is directly connected to my recent urges to restrict or use other eating disorder symptoms.

"Our own physical body possesses a wisdom which we who inhabit the body lack. We give it orders which make no sense."

- Henry Miller
You know that I love to add some humor-

For me this statement rings loud and true! My body tells me hungry, hints at cravings, begs for sleep yet I often choose to ignore these messages. I'll starve it or deny it the food it is desiring. But why? My body is telling my mind that it needs a specific things. It's when we think about it too much that the messages get muddled and we experience anguish and confusion. If only we could separate the mind from the body and listen purely to our bodies' physical needs. Of course this an impossibility. Reading these words said by others has not helped much with my bad body image but it has helped me to put things in perspective. I can recognize, at least in this moment, that my body is precious because it is the only one I have. Likewise yours is precious as well. If we don't care for them now we are bound to suffer negative repercussions in the near or distant future. My feelings of bad body image are in this moment but I know ultimately they will pass. The damage I do to my body is sadly forever. Lets not allow momentary feels of insecurity direct us in negatively impacting the course of our life and our future. Lets try to listen to the voices of our bodies today. They may not be loud right now but they are there. We just have to listen closely and not allow the loudness of our minds override the keen wisdom of our bodies.

Be good to yourself today,

Your Body is a Wonderland, John Mayer

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Dress to Impress

Dressing Up Just For Fun

A Simple Way to Feel Good (and Look Fabulous Simultaneously!)

So you're are probably reading the title of this post and thinking that it is the most superficial topic I could think of. How is this related to happiness? And does this not just push the stereotypical cultural ideal of beauty? Well I am going to respond with a resounding NO! As a huge fashion lover and advocate of inventing a personal style that reflects your uniqueness I can think of so many ways that dressing up just for fun is advantageous. I'll start off by offering you a scenario- you wake up in the morning feeling groggy and unmotivated, the day is bound to be just like any other typical day, you go to your closet and start to reach for a pair of jeans, an over-sized sweatshirt, etc...but wait, stop! Why not put on something fun, flirty, or luxurious! Snap yourself out of your own monotony by dressing to impress. You're dressing up to impress anyone else you're dressing up for yourself! Take pride in the way you like and make choices with intention. Some mornings a great way to snap out of a blah mood is to simply dress up! Even if you don't love the body that is underneath the clothing it doesn't mean you have to wear that you can't love! It such an easy way to alter an element, although minute, element of your day. On another note the way we dress can be a creative reflection of our tastes and personality. It doesn't need to seem materialistic or shallow. Dressing in a way that makes you feel good, that helps display a part of who you are is a simple way to show that you take pride in and care about yourself. Too often we pick up the baggy or comfy clothes because we think we will feel better if we hide our bodies. The truth is putting yourself together, even if it means showing parts of your body that you aren't totally comfortable with, can help naturally build your self-esteem. It is a simple way to feel good and look fabulous! As always I have some quotes to help support my case-

Audrey Hepburn

“Fashion is not something that exists in dresses only. Fashion is in the sky, in the street, fashion has to do with ideas, the way we live, what is happening.” 

- Coco Chanel

“A woman can be over dressed but never over elegant.” 

- Coco Chanel

“Why change? Everyone has his own style. When you have found it, you should stick to it.” 

- Audrey Hepburn

So what am I getting at with all these quotes? Fashion, dressing, your style can be important. It can be interesting and fun. It can help you express yourself in a different way. It can allow you to show others aspects of your personality and unique qualities you possess. But most importantly dressing in a way that you like can really help you to feel good about yourself! I know it's sounds silly, maybe even trite, but just give it a try! It might be challenging for you but it's such a simple concept so why not give it a shot?

Live fabulously and in elegance because as Chanel said, you can never be over elegant,

Me all dressed up today for no reason!

You're Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile, The Musical Annie

Monday, July 23, 2012

Goodnight Moon

Thoughts for Bed Time

An Evening Affirmation About Doing Your Best

Today is the first day in a long time that I can honestly say I did everything I could in regard to taking care of myself and eating what I should. (I even did a supplement and a snack!) I am really struggling mentally but I am feeling more energized and physically better. I wish it weren't so difficult to do what I need to do in order to treat myself right and live the life I want to live. I am hoping that this evening affirmation will help put both my mind and your minds at ease. Even if you don't think you did your best today still acknowledge what you were able to do and remember that tomorrow is a new opportunity to take care of yourself the best that you can!

I've done all that I can, today. I let go and relax. I give my body the rest it needs. My mind and my resolve are renewed as I sleep. I wake refreshed, recharged, and able to handle anything life presents to me.

Repeat the words to yourself and try your best to listen to the sound of your own voice. Believe the words that are coming out of your mouth. Today is done and there is no need to dwell on anything negative that transpired. Use this time to let your mind and body rest. This is your time to become rejuvenated both mentally and physically. Always remember that tomorrow is a new beginning. You will awake to a fresh morning filled with choices and possibilities! 

Goodnight friends,

"Goodnight stars, goodnight air, goodnight noises everywhere."

Play Time is Over

Back to the Same Old Routine

The Aftermath of a Great Weekend

I have been MIA recently because I was in DC for the weekend and then my friend was here in Philadelphia visiting me so I apologize for the lack of posting. But, it has been on my mind! I had a fabulous time seeing many friends that I haven't seen in a long time but the aftermath of events that you have been awaiting or are exciting can leave you feeling very down or lonely once they are over. I am currently in this post play time state. Back to the old routine of class, work, studying, and more alone time than I would like. The question is how do we get through this period of time without getting down? I have struggled with this feeling for a long time. I used to think that feeling low meant that I was too dependent on others or that I couldn't be happy if I was around certain people and these thoughts made me nervous! How could I live my life as an indepent adult if I was codependent? Well, I found a couple quotes that helped me realize that my feelings were normal. Just because I was bummed or disappointed didn't mean something bad or that I was an unstable person. It is natural to feel upset when you need to leave a friend or an event you've been excited for is over. The first quote I am referencing is from one of my favorites, Winnie-The-Pooh-

How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. 

- A. A. Milne,

One of my best friends, Molly. I miss her!
Although separating from friends, especially if you are not sure when you'll be together again, is always difficult it is nice to be able to look at in this way. We are lucky to have someone or something that we enjoy so much. It's special to have people in your life that make you feel love and appreciated. It is these people that are the hardest to say goodbye to. But the harder it is to say goodbye the stronger you know the relationship is. Nothing is more valuable than a good friend- a friend that when you must separate you cry, a friend that loves you as much as you love them, a friend who genuinely wants the best for you and you want the same for them in return. While saying goodbye is painful these special and rare friends are blessings and instead of mourning over the departure I suppose it is more beneficial to look forward to the next meeting even if you don't know when it will be! The next quote is more relevant to the normalcy of feeling down after an exciting event is over.

“It's only natural to feel lonely after the enjoyable moments pass. But as you experience new joys those feelings of sorrow will start to fade.”

- Mizu Sahara

I recently blew off class to go to Six Flags with a friend!
I love this quote because not only does it legitimize my feelings of sadness after a fun experience but it assures me that more great experiences will occur and my sadness is only temporary. Sure enough the end of one moment marks the start of another and this new moment or upcoming moments can be just as enjoyable as ones in the past. No, no moment will ever be exactly the same but it doesn't mean it can't be great in its own way. As I reflect upon my past weekend I can appreciate the great fun I had and the amazing time I had with my friends. Although the moments are over I know I can create more great and exciting moments in the future. There is always something else to look forward to. We can be proactive and create this moments for ourselves- plan a trip, make a date with a friend, schedule a fun activity with your family. We can make the most of our lives by planning fun things and activities that we can look forward to! We are completely permitted to feel upset when a great moment has passed but we must remember that the feelings will pass and that we have the ability to create more enjoyable experiences for ourselves!

Be proactive and get excited about life,
Don't let this be you- make it happen!