Life's Gifts

Special Things to Look Forward To

How We Get Through the Ordinary Days

Life is full of gifts-

Out of the 365 days in a year most days are relatively ordinary- we wake up, we go to school or work, we complete work/school oriented tasks, we go home, have dinner, and go to sleep. This is how we live our lives the majority of the time and it can become exceptionally monotonous. But every once in a while we are blessed with life's gifts, special things or extraordinary days to look forward to, and these special days can help us push through the seemingly endless number of ordinary days. Life has a way of providing us with these special things exactly when we need them. For example right before Thanksgiving I was completely burnt out. I needed a break from school and my daily routine. Right when I felt as if I couldn't keep going any longer life stepped in with a gift- Thanksgiving! After the holiday I felt more refreshed, happy to have seen my family, and ready to face the long expanse of ordinary days that awaited me when I returned to school. Of course, I am feeling tired again and ready for the semester to be over. How am I getting through these ordinary days that are filled with class, final assignments, and a painful monotony? I am keeping in mind that I have something special to look forward to in the near future. Another one of life's gifts is quickly approaching and helping me get through the end of the semester. Winter break is only 2 weeks away and Christmas is quickly approaching. Life is once again giving me a gift exactly when I need it most. I have been busting my butt all semester and I am physically and mentally exhausted. I am ready for a reprieve and I am able to get through these ordinary days because I know the break I long for is right around the corner.

"Vacation used to be a luxury, but in today's world it has become a necessity."

- Author Unknown

Technology prevents us from being unreachable-

I find this quote to be exceptionally true. Our world moves at such a quick pace. We are expected to be able to do multiple things at once. It is assumed that we will always be reachable by phone or email. The inventions of smart phones, laptops, and tablets has made it that we never get a moment of peace and solitude. In this new world that we live in we rarely get the time to just be, to just do nothing, to escape. The pressure of all of it becomes too much. We need to get away- disregard expectations, forget responsibilities, take time to breathe- and life's gifts allow us to do this. As the quote says these gifts are not a luxury but in fact a necessity. They drive us to push through the ordinary days and keep us sane by providing us with a break from our demanding lives. 


"A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in."

- Robert Orben

Orben's definition of vacation is exactly the kind of break I am looking forward to at the moment. We need balance in our lives. After this difficult semester and the finals period that is approaching I am going to do need this time to do absolutely nothing for hours at a time. I can get through the demands and obligations that I face at the moment only because I know that a vacation of bliss and relaxation awaits me in the near future. The specific vacation and special thing that I am referring to right now is of course Winter Break and Christmas. To me Christmas is life's most special and exciting gift. 

"Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold everything is softer and more beautiful."

- Norman Vincent Peale

"Christmas waves a magic wand over this world..."

Christmas brings me happiness. This season reminds me of my childhood, blissful ignorance, family fun, and times when life felt so much easier. During this time of year I get to experience all the pleasures of my happy childhood. I am reminded of how blessed I have been in my life. I can smile at the simple things- Christmas carols, holiday lights, Starbuck's seasonal coffee cups. I can get through my ordinary days, complete my work, and fight my eating disorder because I am looking forward to Christmas. It is one of those special things that pushes me through my work, encourages me to keep fighting, and entices me. Christmas is my reward for all the work I have done over the course of this semester. 
Life often becomes overwhelming and too difficult to bear. We need special things to look forward to in order to help us get through the ordinary days. Luckily the special things come naturally in the form of life's gifts. These gifts aren't necessarily holidays, they can be anything that breaks from your typical routine- birthdays, a visit from a friend, vacation, a celebratory dinner, a financial splurge. These little things can help break up the monotony of our typical day. We can get through the ordinary days because we await these gifts with happy anticipation. And we return to our routine we feel a little better, more at ease, and refreshed. Day-to-day living can be difficult and tiring but by keeping these special things in mind we can make it through. We can push through these ordinary and exhausting days because G-d blesses us with breaks, gifts, and special occasions to keep us going!

Keep in mind that life's gifts are abundant,
xo

Can't wait for break so I can sit back and relax !

24 Days Til Christmas

 

Sleigh Ride, The Carpenters

You Are Fabulous!

You Are Enough

Acknowledging Positive Attributes and Feeling Good About Ourselves

After over indulging during the long Thanksgiving weekend I am feeling not so fabulous about myself and my body. The Thanksgiving meal- stuffing, wine, pie, potatoes- and days of eating leftovers has really messed with my mind and sense of self. My bad body image thoughts are completely out of control. My rational mind keeps trying to interject telling me that "It is not possible for you to have gained any significant amount of real weight over the course of three days." And it tries to calm me down by offering advice such as, "Now that you're back on campus you'll return to your normal eating and walking routine. Even if you did gain weight it will come off naturally." Although these thoughts are present my eating disordered thoughts are strong and over rule my rational voice the maturity of the time. I am feeling fat, afraid, and out of control. I am wearing baggy clothes because I am nervous that if I put on jeans they will fit more snugly than they did previously. I am afraid that I won't be able to stop over indulging now that I have started and that my weight will just continue to sky rocket to a number that I am uncomfortable with. And I am feeling out of control because I have not been able to follow the rules and strictures that I usually set for myself regarding food. What if I can never follow them again? What if I just continue to overeat? 

My eating disordered voice is screaming, "You must start restricting now! You need to make up for the past few days! You are fat and disgusting! You are out of control and gluttonous just like everyone else! You have to lose this weight immediately!" The exclamations haunt me every moment of the day and force me to feel uncomfortable with what I have consumed. They evoke a level of fear in me that I can't even begin to describe. The provoke me to feel miserable mentally and disgusting in my own body. They inspire me to want to restrict to extreme measures so that I can take off any weight I may have gained and then some just as a precaution. My eating disorder makes me believe that I am not enough unless I am visibly underweight. It blinds me from seeing any positive attributes that I possess and subsequently prevents me from feeling good about myself. We all feel some remorse or regret after splurging over the holiday. Many of us plan to alter our eating habits for the days following in order to regain a sense of balance. But my thoughts and plans are extreme and that in itself scares me. If I listen to the advice of my eating disorder will I actually feel better? Or, will I begin to spiral down and lose control of the restricting and weight loss? Is listening to my eating disorder worth becoming sick again and potentially missing Christmas for the second year in a row? My rational mind answers with a resounding NO! 

So the question is how I am supposed to believe that I am fabulous no matter what I have eating and regardless of what I weigh? How can we look at ourselves and honestly say that we are enough? I am going to start of with a few affirmations to help us on journey to feeling fabulous-

I give myself all the compassion I deserve and need.

The more I acknowledge my positive qualities, the stronger they become.

I am worthwhile- imperfections and all.

I know it can be difficult to focus on three separate affirmations at once but I felt I needed to include all of them because collectively they cover three important elements that we need on our path to feeling  good about ourselves and believing that we are fabulous! The first element is compassion or self-love. We are so much harder on ourselves than we are on other people. We look in the mirror and pin point faults that others do not see or simply don't exist. We condemn ourselves for our mistakes, yell at ourselves for making stupid comments, and blame ourselves for situations that are out of our control. It is time that we show ourselves the same compassion that we show to others because we need and deserve it just as much as anyone else.

"If you had a person in your life treating you the way you treat yourself, you would have gotten rid of them a long time ago..."

- Cheri Huber

The second element is acknowledging positive qualities. Like I said previously if we can learn to recognize and acknowledge positive attributes that we possess than our supposed faults will begin to fade and seem less important. Acknowledging positive attributes also offers two more significant benefits. It forces us to look past the exterior and think about qualities that truly matter- kindness, intelligence, faithfulness, graciousness. We are more than our weight or shape and acknowledging positive attributes about ourselves that are not based on appearance enables us to see that there is more to us than what we look like. Acknowledging positives also commands us to realize and admit that there is good within us. There are things about us that are exceptional if we take the time to look at our own reflection- internal and external. Seeing these positive elements can help us to feel good about who we are and allow us to believe that we are fabulous! And finally the third element is feeling that you are worth it no matter what you have done, despite the faults you believe you have, and regardless of any mistakes you have made. Just being who you are is enough and is worth friendship, respect, and love. Because I included multiple affirmations and expanded upon all of them I am going to break it down into the three main themes in the hopes of preventing confusion. In order to believe that we are fabulous lets concentrate on these three elements or themes: compassion, acknowledging positives, and feeling worth it.

Because I am struggling so greatly with bad body image and eating disordered thoughts and urges at the moment I want to include a couple affirmations that speak specifically to these feelings and are directed to the eating disorder community. If this portion does not apply to you skip over it and continue reading. Even if you do not have an eating disorder you may find some use for the following affirmations but if you are already overwhelmed with the three affirmations that preceded this section than I encourage you to ignore it and focus on the affirmations the best apply to you and suit your personal needs. The holiday season can be exceptionally difficult for individuals who suffer from eating disorders. But the aftermath of the holidays can prove to be even harder and more draining. During my Thanksgiving meal and the days that followed my eating disorder voice was a whisper suggesting that I not eat the food but not preventing me from doing so. Now that the holiday is over and the deed is done my eating disorder is raging, making me miserable, and driving me to my breaking point. I know that I am not the only person who is feeling this way at the moment.

You are enough-

There are millions of us out there who suffer from eating disorders and need some extra help and encouragement during this time of year. I am going to offer a few affirmations that relate to eating disordered thoughts in the hopes that we can attempt to believe them and continue to move forward with our lives-

Neither the number on the scale nor the size of my jeans dictate my worth.

I can be happy even when I'm not comfortable in my body.

I have more important things to do than fight with my body and my mind.

I chose these three affirmations because they touch upon three themes that I believe are crucial in order to feel good about ourselves: a number is not a reflection of worth, happiness, and purpose. The first affirmation is a very typical one, used frequently in the eating disorder world, so I am not going to take the time to discuss it. However I would like to pay special attention to the last two affirmations which concentrate on happiness and purpose. Lets first look at happiness. 

Bad body image day-

Today I feel fat and miserable in my body. But, why should I allow that to ruin my day? Are there not other things in my life that can bring me happiness despite my discomfort? Just because we are having a bad body image day does not mean that we have to dwell on it and sulk. Instead we can distract ourselves by doing things that bring us joy- go to a movie, get a manicure, hang out with friends- and not let our physical insecurities debilitate us. Bad body image may be unavoidable at the moment but it does not have to dictate our mood or the way we conduct ourselves today. Just because we don't feel completely comfortable does not mean that we have to be miserable. Don't give yourself a moment to sulk! Suck it up, distract yourself, and do your best to enjoy the day. Your body image will most likely improve if you are active and involved in the world. Now lets think about the third affirmation about purpose. Today my eating disordered thoughts are loud and out of control. They are interjecting when they are not wanted and preventing me from doing the things that I want and need to be doing. I have class to go to, assignments to complete, and a personal project that I would like to work on. 

I don't have time for these thoughts !

But I am so in my head that I cannot focus on any of these tasks. I am physically present but mentally absent. I don't have time for this bull shit. I don't have energy to waste fighting with my body and arguing against the thoughts in my mind. I have a large purpose, more important things to do, and I cannot waste valuable time toying with my eating disordered thoughts and playing the anorexia game. I have bigger and better things to do in my life, productive things that will add to my happiness and well-being, significant tasks that help move me forward and bring me closer to my goals. I know how difficult it can be to believe that the number on the scale does not matter. Honestly, I don't believe it myself. To me every pound still matters and every calorie counts. Holidays are not an excuse to over indulge and whoever said "It's on the inside that counts" is full of crap. But if I can focus on my want for happiness and my purpose than maybe I can quiet the eating disordered thoughts and escape the torment that currently exists within my head. Whether you have an eating disorder or not we all have insecurities and they don't necessarily have to relate to physical appearance. Yes, everyone, especially women, is slightly vain and has negative thoughts about our bodies. We say things like, "Our feet are too big," "I hate my thighs," "My stomach is flabby." 

As always I need to add some humor-

But we also feel inferior in other areas of our life as well. We won't ask a question in class because we are concerned we will look dumb. We refuse to hold hands with people because we're self-conscious that our hands are clammy. We refuse to speak out because we dislike our voice or accent or believe that we don't speak as eloquently as others. We won't contribute to conversations because we think we are boring, don't have anything interesting to add, or that people won't listen to us. All of these insecurities have the ability to interfere with our every day lives. How can we buy shoes if we don't want anyone to see our big feet? How are we supposed to learn anything or we refuse to ask questions?  How can we order coffee if won't let anyone here our voice? How can we make friends if we are too afraid to get involved in conversations? Insecurities can be exceptionally debilitating but only if we allow them too. If we can counter our insecurities, give our shortcomings less significance, and truly believe that we are fabulous than our negative thoughts will not be able to prevent us from living our lives, feeling good about ourselves, and trusting that we are enough just as we are.

This kitty does "not give a shit !"

"One of the greatest journeys in life is overcoming insecurity and learning to truly not give a shit."

- J.A. Konrath

Konrath suggests that by overcoming our insecurities we will learn to not care what other people think about us and perhaps this is true. But do all of our insecurities stem from fear of what others may think or how they will respond? I know some of my insecurities are related to the opinions of others but a great deal of my insecurities come from within. I don't think anyone else would consider me fat, yet, I am still insecure about my body. I am insecure because it doesn't look exactly how I want it to look, how I think it should look, and what I think my appearance says about me as a person. Although others would not condemn me for over indulging during the breaking and perhaps gaining a pound or two I am still insecure about it. The insecurity stems from a hatred for myself not from a fear involving what others may think. I believe that a great deal of our insecurities have nothing to do with other people and have more to do with ourselves and our own opinions. Not "giv[ing] a shit" does not mean we are insecurity free. I can honestly say that after all I have experienced in my life there are very few people and opinions that I truly "give a shit" about. My sense of self-worth comes from my own opinions, my personal ideas, and my own view of myself. So the question is: How do we challenge these insecurities that are not based in the opinions of others but instead rooted in the way we give value to ourselves? I don't possess the words to answer this question so as usual I am going to rely on two quotes to help us attempt to figure it out-

"Certain flaws are necessary for the whole. It would seem strange if old friends lacked certain quirks."

- Goethe

"There are two kinds of perfect: The one you can never achieve, and the other, by just being yourself."

- Lauren King

I want to briefly look at these quotes in connection with each other. Both quotes focus on the need to accept all aspects of who we are in order to be ideal versions of our true selves. Goethe talks about the necessity of flaws in order to be complete. We love our friends and they love us in return despite faults. None of us would be the same people if we didn't possess these "quirks," odd attributes, or shortcomings. We all have qualities that we dislike but without them we would no longer be the selves- friends, daughters, mothers, siblings- that people in our life have grown accustomed to and love. King brings up a final point about perfection that I found interesting. We are constantly being told that "no one is perfect" but maybe this is an inaccurate statement to make. Perhaps King is right in say that there are two kinds of perfect. We can achieve perfection by remaining true to ourselves, accepting our faults,  acting in accordance with our beliefs, and making use of our positive attributes. By believing that we are enough we have found perfection! I am not sure if these quotes adequately answered my question but they have definitely helped me in getting on the right path to figuring it out. No matter what makes you insecure and regardless of why try to remember that not only are you enough but you are fabulous just as you are.

Continue to focus on the positive and remember to treat yourself well,
xo

I know, I am absolutely fabulous!

Beautiful, Christina Aguilera

29 Days Til Christmas Eve, 30 Days Til Christmas

Believe, Josh Groban

Surviving the Holiday

Focus on the Positive this Thanksgiving

 Affirmations and Helpful Tips

Why do we get the holiday blues?

As much as Thanksgiving and the upcoming holiday season is meant to be celebratory I know that it can be a difficult time of year for many people. I am not exactly sure why, but it is common for people to become emotional, sad, and even depressed during the period between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Maybe it's because holiday celebrations remind us of the people who are no longer with us and aren't able to partake any more. Perhaps the cold weather and early darkness plays a part. The stress of purchasing gifts, prepping meals, and meeting expectations definitely impacts our moods. But I don't have a definitive answer as to why we experience these negative emotions during the holiday season. I know that I have already encountered some unexplainable emotions this year. Two nights ago I became so overwhelmed with a combination of feelings- happiness, loss, nostalgia, sadness, fear, anxiety- that I began hysterically crying while sorting through crafts and letters from treatment. I couldn't verbalize exactly what I was feeling or why. Yes, I miss my friends from treatment, but I certainly don't want to be back in treatment right now. I was and still am confused as to why I erupted with emotion and don't understand how I could feel happiness, sadness, and anxiety all at once. 

I miss my beautiful friend !

I know Thanksgiving and the holidays in general can be especially difficult for individuals, like me, who suffer or have suffered from an eating disorder. The anxiety that comes with a large feast while surrounded by a number of people seems daunting. Most people enjoy Thanksgiving as an opportunity to indulge, forget their usual dietary regiments, and enjoy the array of savories and sweets that adorn the table. But those suffering from eating disorders don't have the ability to enjoy in the same way that others do. Anorexia and Bulimia never take a day off and this can create a lot of stress, anxiety, and fear during the holiday season. Holidays and holiday meals can be hard or nearly impossible to enjoy. The holiday is not a time to relax and celebrate but instead becomes a challenge that needs to be overcome. We miss out on the opportunity to have fun and be happy with family and friends because we get too stuck in our own heads. Instead of listening to table conversation our brains are working overtime trying to determine how much to eat, estimating calorie content, working to hide what we have or haven't eaten, fighting against our own thoughts, feeling paranoid that people are watching us eat, and fearing what impacts the meal will have on our body and weight. It makes me sad to know that I am unable to enjoy and appreciate the holiday to its fullest. But it makes me even sadder knowing that there are millions of other people out there, including close friends, who are facing the same experience on this day that is supposed to be celebratory and joyful.

Today I have carefully picked a few affirmations that I hope will help us focus on the positive this Thanksgiving and give us the strength to not only survive the holiday but maybe even enjoy it!

The more I believe in myself, the more I am able to access and utilize the strengths that lie within me.

We can choose to fight this Thanksgiving !

Today I give thanks for the wonderful family and friends that surround me, enrich my life, and accompany me throughout life's journey.

I pray to the giver behind all gifts that I may always be thankful for what I am given.

Today when we sit at our Thanksgiving table lets focus on these affirmations in order to help us get through the meal and survive the holiday. Lets be confident and tap into our inner strengths while the stuffing, potatoes, and turkey are passed around the table. We are strong. We are capable. We possess everything we need to tackle this challenge. We need only have faith in ourselves and our abilities. And as the platters continue to make their rounds look to your left, look to your right, look at all the faces at your Thanksgiving table. Remember that these are the people- family and close friends- who love you most of all. They want you to be happy. They don't want you to feel pain and anxiety this Thanksgiving. They want you to be present so that you are all able to share the experience together. These are the people that have presumably supported you throughout your struggles and suffering. Feel secure in knowing that you have your family by your side, people who radiate positivity and love, and use this fact to your advantage. And finally be thankful for what you have now. No, our lives are not perfect- in fact they are far from perfect. And yes, Thanksgiving proves to be challenging and provoke huge amounts of anxiety within us. But lets focus on the positive. We are home for Thanksgiving. We are not in treatment being forced to eat mediocre food and chug Ensure supplements. We are well enough to be home with our families, drinking wine, and enjoying the freedoms that come with not being in treatment (smoking when we want, shaving when we choose, being permitted to wear clothes with pockets at meals). Lets be thankful for these truths and use these facts as inspiration to get through this meal and stay healthy so that we are able to enjoy the remainder of the holiday season with our families in the comfort of our own homes.

You should know by now that I can't help adding a bit of humor-

Before I say farewell I'd like to share a few useful tips that I intend to employ tonight in order to help me survive the holiday-

• Have a plan. Before you're surrounded by tons of people and the Thanksgiving festivities begin think about how you are going to handle the situation- what do you want to eat, how much do you want to drink, what will you do if you begin to feel stressed, who are you going to talk to if you need support, what steps will you take if you begin to have eating disordered urges? Knowing exactly what you are going to do will help you feel more confident, secure, and comfortable when the celebration begins.

• Pace yourself- don't eat too quickly. Recognize when you are starting to feel full in order to avoid that uncomfortably full feeling that can make us anxious and resort to using eating disorder symptoms.

• Take a moment for yourself if you're feeling overwhelmed. If you are starting to feel upset, emotional, or anxious don't hesitate to discretely step out of the room and collect yourself.

• Drink moderately. Don't put yourself at risk for experiencing an unnecessary drunken, emotional outburst.

• Breathe. Take deep calming breaths if you start to feel stressed or uncomfortable. Deep breathing can help to alleviate anxiety and fill you with a sense of peace.

• Distract yourself. Do your best to be engaged while at the dinner table. Keep the conversation going so you can stay out of your head. By staying involved in table conversations you can focus on your family and friends rather than the food that's sitting on your plate.

It's ok to pass on the pie-

• Don't push yourself. Just because it's Thanksgiving doesn't mean you have to go all out. You don't need to try every item on the table and you don't have to overindulge. You don't have to eat foods that terrify you if you think it will hinder your ability to enjoy the holiday. Take a pass on the potatoes, say no to the stuffing, or even skip dessert if you don't think you can handle it.

• Reach out for support. Before the meal begins speak with someone you trust about any anxiety or fear that you may be experiencing. If someone else is aware ahead of time they will be better prepared to help you if and when the time comes later on.

• Focus on the positive. Do your best to pay attention to the aspects of Thanksgiving that make you happy- family, friends, football, wine, festiveness, getting dressed up, the opportunity to express thanks- rather than the elements that fill you with dread. The negatives will be less prominent if you choose to focus on the positives this Thanksgiving. 

I encourage you to utilize these tips during your Thanksgiving celebrations. They can even be applied for other social situations and future holiday events and parties. I am confident that by using both the affirmations as well as the useful tips that we will be able to survive the holiday. If we allow ourselves to focus on the positive this Thanksgiving than we might even have a shot at having a great time with our families and friends. Remember that you are strong, you will be surrounded by loved ones, and you are now equipped with a list of practical and useful tips. We are ready to take this holiday head on and we are not merely surviving but we are living!

Good luck today and Happy Thanksgiving! My thoughts and prayers are with you,

xo  

Lady bugs are a symbol of good luck ! I wish you all the best of luck this Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving Cheer!

Make the Most of the Holiday

Thanksgiving Comes But Once a Year

A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving (1973)

Thanksgiving comes but once a year and it is up to us to make the most of the holiday. As I have said in earlier posts I was not able to spend Thanksgiving with my family last year so it is especially important that the holiday this year is filled with Thanksgiving cheer! While I am thrilled to be spending the holiday at home with my family I think they may be more excited about my presence than I am. My Dad is busy in the kitchen prepping all of the elements of our Thanksgiving meal including a few of my own special requests. My Mom is visibly overjoyed and just turned on the Macy's Thanksgiving Day  parade. My Grandpa is standing quietly observing the scene. And I am sitting at my kitchen counter, writing this blog, and taking in all the beautiful aromas that are escaping from the kitchen. The house feels warm and festive. Our home is oozing with excitement and anticipation as we all await the arrival of our many guests. I am doing everything I can to share in the joy that the rest of my family is overtly displaying. I need to make the most the holiday not just for me but for the rest of my family as well. They are ecstatic that I am with them for Thanksgiving this year. It only comes but once a year but for me this day needs to be extra special because it is making up for the Thanksgiving that I missed last year. We have waited 731 days for today and therefore we need to be sure that it is filled with an excess of cheer, gratitude, and love. To help us all get in the spirit and make the most of the holiday I am choosing to share a few affirmations that cater to the specific themes I'd like to emphasize in this entry: thankfulness, family, and happiness-

To grow in thankfulness I'll concentrate upon the true gifts I've received and contemplate how these treasures can be spread.

Today I appreciate the love and support that my family offers me. I appreciate my ability to pull myself up in life because of the support from my family. Today I will let my family know how much I appreciate them.

I know that a happy life is no more than an accumulation of happy moments.

I chose these affirmations because collectively they encompass everything I'd like to touch upon and because I believe that these three themes- thankfulness, family, and happiness- will enable us to make the most of this Thanksgiving. But, as always, if numerous affirmations is overwhelming or too much for you to focus on just choose the one that best suits you and your needs. And of course you can liberally adjust and combine the affirmations so that you are able to create one that is perfect for you. For example-

To grow in thankfulness I'll concentrate upon the gifts I have received, including the love and support of my family, and contemplate how I can share my appreciation and happiness today.

OR-

I know that a happy life is no more than an accumulation of happy moment and I will enjoy the abundance of happy moments that this Thanksgiving Day will bring.

Helps bring me my Thanksgiving cheer !

These affirmations are meant to help you so don't feel nervous about reworking them, rephrasing them, combining them, or adding to them so that they apply to you and your life. Use the affirmation that will best help to fill you with thanksgiving cheer and enable you to make the most of the holiday. Once a year we have the opportunity to celebrate a holiday that is dedicated solely to recognizing and expressing our thanks. We have the gift of a day off from our typical lives- work, school, responsibility- and it is up to us to make the most of it by enjoying our families, engaging in happiness, and appreciating the blessings that we have been given. Thanksgiving is a unique holiday. It is not about gifts or decorations. It is not about spending money or meeting expectations. This holiday is purely about sharing thanks, spreading joy, and feeling love. I encourage you to focus on these themes as you celebrate today. Thanksgiving comes but once a year and by concentrating on the things that matter we will be able to make the most of it!

"But Thanksgiving is more than eating...Those early Pilgrims were thankful for what had happened to them, and we should be thankful, too. We should just be thankful for being together. I think that's what they mean by 'Thanksgiving.'"

- Marcie, from the animated film, A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving 

Feel and spread the Thanksgiving cheer with your family and friends,

xo

Happy Thanksgiving!

I grew up singing this song in school at our annual "Thanksgiving All School Assembly." It is beautiful, heart felt, and holds a lot of special meaning for me. I hope that you are able to enjoy it as much as I do.

For the Beauty of the Earth, John Rutter

Don't Waste Your Gratitude

Express Your Thanks

Let People Know They're Appreciated

This time of year and the upcoming holiday specifically is a time to reflect and think about all of the things in our life that we are thankful for. (The holiday is called Thanksgiving after all.) But sometimes we get so caught up in our own thoughts, recognizing the things and people that we are thankful for, that we forget to express our thanks and let people know how much they're appreciated. It seems pointless to realize what we are grateful for if we fail to share our feelings with those who enrich our lives and help us along the way. Our gratitude is wasted if we keep it to ourselves. 

"G-d gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say 'thank you?'"

- William A. Ward

Have you taken the time recently to express your thanks to the people in your life- the people who lift your spirits, the friends who bring you joy, the family that loves you despite your flaws, the teacher who is fair and understanding, the compassionate boss, the parents that support and encourage you, the helpful employee or co-worker, the children who make you smile, the pet who snuggles with you when you are down, the older sibling who always keeps a watchful eye, the people who help you in life's journey, the people who make your life worth living? Have you let them know they're appreciated? If not than this is the perfect time to do so. Don't waste your gratitude. Instead take a moment to compile a list of people whom you are thankful for and express your thanks to them. You can do it whenever or however you please. You can share tomorrow at your Thanksgiving table. You could call the people who you'd like to thank. Or you could even send a quick text or e-mail just to let these people know that you are thankful for them and all that they do. 

I intend to write a letter to my family that I will share tomorrow evening at our Thanksgiving table. I was not present at our Thanksgiving dinner last year because I entered treatment the day before Thanksgiving. I did not have the opportunity to spend time with my loved ones and enjoy the holiday meal and festivities. My Thanksgiving dinner last year consisted of a large cup of Ensure, endless tears, and a great deal of sadness. I was not thankful for anything this time last year. I was living a life of misery and could not even express thanks for my existence. This year is different, this year is special, this Thanksgiving is a celebration not just of the holiday but of my presence and of my life! I know that I could not be home for this holiday had I not had the support, encouragement, and love from my family. I am so thankful for all that they have done for me and I'm not sure that they know how much I truly appreciate them and everything that they do. I am thankful for the big things- my family members making the trek up to Boston to visit me while I was in treatment, my Dad allowing me to take a lighter course load to ensure that I finish the semester, my Mom driving into the city to eat meals with me every night for an entire week this semester, my parents allowing me to spend any amount of money on food if it means I am able to eat, my parents giving me permission to adopt my kitten as a motivator- and I am pretty certain that my family knows how appreciative I am for all of these great things that they have done. But I don't think they realize how thankful I am for all the small things that they have done over the course of the past year. To them these smaller actions- my Aunt writing letters to me while I was in Boston, my parents sending me stickers in a Christmas care-package because they know how much I love stickers, my brother texting me to check in every once in a while, the fact that my parents have gotten off my back about smoking cigarettes because they realize I have larger issues that I am dealing with, my Dad buying special food for me when I'm uncomfortable with what he's serving everyone else, the confidence my family has in me to stay well and finish school, the huge hugs I receive whenever I see my loved ones- may seem insignificant but to me they are just as important as the big things! I am thankful for every little thing that my family has done for me over the course of the past year. 

I am thankful for my beautiful, crazy, and amazing family!

They have enabled me to fight when I felt as if I had no strength left. They have encouraged me and had confidence in me when I have doubted myself. They have inspired me to take care of myself so that I am able to spend more time with the people that I love. Their love and all that they have done for me makes me feel worth while. I was not confident that I would even be at home for this Thanksgiving. I have had many struggles and challenges- weight loss, periods of depression, eating disordered thoughts and behaviors- but with the guidance and support of my team and my family I have made it and I know I could not have done it without them. I have no intention of wasting my gratitude! My family deserves to know how much they are appreciated and I cannot wait to express my thanks tomorrow night. 

It is unfair to keep our thoughts and feelings to ourselves. If we don't acknowledge the people we are thankful for, if we fail to let them know that their actions are appreciated, than we risk provoking feelings of resentment, helplessness, and failure. If we don't express our thanks our family may begin to feel unappreciated and cease to do all the wonderful things that we are grateful for. It is our duty to let these people know that they are appreciated so that they can feel good about what they've done and continue to do these things in the future. It is up to us to express our thanks so that our family and friends know that they have made a difference in our lives, they are important to us, they are appreciated, and they are loved. 

"Appreciation can make a day- even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary."

- Margaret Cousins

As Cousins says it is up to us to vocalize our gratitude in order to benefit those that we are thankful for. It is unfair and pointless to feel thankful if we fail to share our thoughts and feelings with the people in our life. I am thankful for a number of things and people but what does it matter if they aren't aware of it? I can't let these people continue living without letting them know that they have saved me in more ways then I can count. Some of the things they have done are small, some are large, some are tangible, and some are not, but they all share two commonalities: they have enabled to spend this Thanksgiving at home with my family and they were inspired by love. This Thanksgiving don't waste your gratitude. Take the time to reflect upon your life, recognize who and what you are thankful for and why, and then express your thanks. It doesn't take a great deal of effort or time to say thank you and the response will be well worth it. 

A special thanks to my loyal readers !

I am thankful for my readers who inspire me to continue writing and expressing myself.  I am thankful that you make me feel appreciated everyday by reading my posts and commenting on entries. I am thankful that you are accompanying on my journey of self-discovery and my quest for fulfillment and happiness.

"At the end of the day, give up your worries and give thanks for the journey."

- Ben Vereen

Happy Early Thanksgiving,

xo

Happy Early Thanksgiving ! (Remember making "hand turkeys" as children?)

Thank You, Dido

Feeling "Great"ful!

Recognizing the Blessings in Our Lives

Feeling Great and Being Grateful

As Thanksgiving approaches I would like to dedicate some time to thinking about all the blessings in my life. I am so grateful for all the good things both big as well as small that are in my life. I am also thankful for the place that I am currently in in my life. I am feeling great, I am pleased with my family and friends, I am content with my classes, I am proud of everything I have been able to accomplish within the last year and I am feeling "great"ful: both happy and thankful at the same time. 

This past year has been full of trials and I can't help but reflect back on my position and mindset at this exact time last year. A year ago I was exhausted, miserable, feeling alone, exceptionally sick, and preparing to enter treatment for my second time. I felt defeated and could not find a single thing in my life to be thankful for (except the fact that my teachers were beyond understanding and allowed me to take incompletes so that I would not have to withdraw from the classes so late into the semester.) I remember lugging my heavy things around campus, schlepping from location to location in order to meet with teachers, retelling my situation and saga to each individual in order to be granted a medical leave that would still permit me to complete my courses at a later date. While my life is not what I once idealized it would be I still can't believe the changes that have occurred since last November. These differences are directly linked to action I have taken but also could not have been made without the love, support, and willingness of my family and friends. They have gotten me through the rough moments. They have brought me back to life when my only desire was to sink into a dark hole. They have reminded me of how strong and capable I am. But most of all they have never let me forget what I have accomplished and how proud I should be of what I have been able to do. I have beat the odds because of my determination and diligence. I have fought- eating when I wasn't hungry, using my voice to get my needs met, maintaining a moderately healthy weight, jumping through hoops and over hurdles, working actively with my team, dedicating myself to my school work, building and strengthening friendship- and my efforts have paid off. This Thanksgiving I will be in my warm home, surrounded by my family, overwhelmed by love, sitting at a table filled with the proponents of a perfect Thanksgiving meal. This Thanksgiving I will enjoy stuffing and my aunt's famous apple pie. My Thanksgiving meal this year will not be a large cup of chocolate Ensure. 

It's not the "famous" one but it looks similar-

Knowing that this is the Thanksgiving that awaits me in only a few days stimulates my "great"ful feeling. Without my hard work and diligence this Thanksgiving would not be possible for me. I feel great- interested in my courses, enjoying time with my friends, having fun on the weekends, more than pleased with the grades I have achieved, thankful for my kitten, Milly, and content with my life in general. I don't think I could ask for much more. This time last year I never expected I could ever be feeling this way. And I am grateful that G-d has blessed me with the strength and motivation to endure the trials that I have encountered in my life. I am grateful for the love and support that I know is always at my access. And I am grateful that time does have the power to dull or heal wounds. This last year has been a time of healing and discovery for me. This period of time has enabled me to reach my current point and level of happiness. 

"At the end of the day, give up you worries and give thanks for the journey."

- Ben Vereen

These "lessons" aren't taught in school-

This past year, although filled with pain, sadness, anger, and disappointment, has taught me valuable lessons about myself and about life- lessons about the value of life, lessons about loss and death, lessons about mourning and healing, lessons about the power within, and lessons about the importance of love and happiness. I am grateful for these lessons because without them I don't know where I would be right now- emotionally or physically. Life is an experience, a journey of learning and discovery, a gift that continuously offers additional gifts and blessings. We so often focus on reaching the end goal that we neglect to see the beauty and value of the journey we are all taking. It is up to us to take some time, especially during the Holiday season but truly every day as well, to recognize the blessings that fill our lives and our lives meaning. During this time of year I can't help but recognize the blessings in my life and in doing so feel great and become grateful for all that I have been gifted. 

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more."

- Melody Beattie

We all have blessings and things to be thankful for in our life- a pregnancy, financial stability, caring friends, intelligence, loving pets, simple happiness- but it seems that we are always on the hunt for something more. Our constant searching distracts us from seeing all the greatness that we have already been given. We neglect to show gratitude for the things and people that enrich our lives. Only when we learn to see and appreciate the wonderful things that we have at the moment are we able to realize how blessed we truly are. When we recognize the blessings in our lives we are able to embrace what we have and feel contentment, even joy. We may still long for something more (it's human nature to desire bigger, better, and more) but this yearning should not prevent us from realizing that we have already been gifted so much. Think about the things and people in your life that bring you joy, think about your own intellect and strength, think about how much you have grown as person over the course of this past year, and feel "great"ful. We may long for more but we cannot deny that what we have in the present moment is worth being thankful for. Our lives can be fulfilling if we can truly feel thankful for what we have at this present moment and believe that, as Beattie said, it is more than enough. If we can feel great as we are right now and be grateful for everything we have in the present moment than we have found the key to finding happiness.

"Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are."

- Marianne Williamson

We all have issues in our lives that we wish would disappear. Many of us wish we could turn back time and do things differently. We all have situations or circumstances that we wish we could change. We have all lost loved ones who we would like to bring back. And we all strive for a life that we believe is better than our own. I think back on my life and wish that my eating disorder never entered my life. I wish that I could turn back time and change the way situations unfolded, alter things that I did, and prevent misfortunes from occurring. I wish that I graduated on time. I wish that I handled friendships differently. I wish I could take back things that I said or did to other people. I wish I never went into treatment to begin. I wish for a great deal of things. But all of these wishes can never be granted. It is impossibility because we cannot reverse time and we cannot change situations that are not in our control. The only thing we can do is look at our lives as they are right now and admit that things really are pretty good. As Williamson says, when we let ourselves "recognize how good things really are" then we are able to feel the happiness that we yearn for. 

So before you sit down at your dining room table this Thanksgiving think about your life. Think about the people that are in it. Think about everything you care about. Think about all you have accomplished and how far you have come. Think about all the blessings that enrich your life. And be "great"ful: thankful and happy. Our lives may not be perfect but no one's life is. All we can do is look around at the fabulous things in our lives that we are grateful for and enable us to feel great. If we stop searching, comparing, and longing we will have more time to recognize the blessings in our lives and discover the happiness that comes with appreciating everything that we already possess.

Lets spend this holiday week feeling "great"ful for all we have and all we are-
x0