Thursday, January 31, 2013

No Complaints Here

Taking Life As It Comes

Moving Forward Day-by-Day

Recently my life has been shockingly uneventful. It seems that I am always being confronted with some sort of challenge, crisis, or bad news. Every once in a while I'll be surprised with something exciting, fun, or fabulous. But, at the moment, neither seem to be the case and I must admit that there are no complaints here about it. I am appreciating the ability to effortlessly move forward day-by-day without being interrupted by anything out of the ordinary. While at times my life seems monotonous or a tad boring I am learning that I can appreciate my life for what it is at this moment. I'd prefer a boring and typical day to a chaotic and painful day at all times. It's hard for me to accept that my life can truly be ok. I feel as if I usually have the need to resolve a problem, cope with a tragedy, or overcome an obstacle. I have always tried to take life as it comes; but usually life seems to come to me in atypical or unfortunate ways. As my life starts to settle down and bear a sense of normalcy, I am forced to learn how to take life as it comes when my life is, for all intensive purposes, ordinary and simple. I have no complaints about learning how to accept and embrace an uneventful life. I am thankful to go to my classes everyday, see friends walking on campus, finish school work, and return home to snuggle with Milly and go to sleep. When I rest my head on my pillow I am comforted by the fact that I had a mellow and standard day; I look forward to having a similar day when I awake in the morning. The calmness and commonness of my life is a welcome relief. I am pleased to continue moving forward day-by-day without cause for concern or startling interruptions. 

"Life is really simple but we insist on making it complicated."

- Confucius

Is Confucius's statement really true? Is my life actually simple and its just me and mind that make it seem complex? Are my thoughts and actions making my life more difficult than it needs to be? Recently my life has felt rather simple or at least less complicated than it has been previously. This statement and the current normalcy of my life makes me wonder if it is truly my life that has changed or if it is me. Perhaps unfortunate things continue to go on around me but I am simply processing and responding to them in a new way? Maybe I am seeing challenges or bad news in a different light? The answer could be that I am no longer taking on others issues and mistaking them for my own; this is an issue that I tend to deal with a lot. 

I hear that a friend is going back into treatment and I turn it into a personal crisis. When I have had friends pass away I somehow manage to make myself feel guilty for still being alive or I begin to question my own life and purpose. When I realize that my weight or behavior is bothering (or triggering) to a friend I allow myself to feel shameful and at fault. But in my immediate past I haven't been absorbing the issues and troubles of others. Yes, I have plenty of friends who are struggling but I have been able to separate their problems from my own. When it comes to my own struggles and eating disorder lapses I haven't been going into panic mode as I usually do. I have been able to put the issues into perspective and realize that just because I am struggling a bit does not mean that I am going to end up very sick and back in treatment again.
Moving Forward Day-by-Day
I don't have a definitive answer regarding what has changed; it could be my or it could very well be my life. But I am not going to spend any more time questioning it. Over thinking it, which would be my typical behavior, would just be playing out the above quote. I don't need to complicate the matter by analyzing it and attempting to figure out the cause. It's a very simple fact that my life seems to going smoothly and I don't intend to turn this pleasure into a complex issue that will turn my brain into an obstacle course of thoughts. I am just going to appreciate that I have no complaints or hardships at the moment and continue to move forward day-by-day, taking life as it comes. 
Today was a nice, easy, and productive day. I went to my classes, met with a classmate for a group project, hung out with my friend who is staying with me, and took a relaxing bath. I have fun plans for tonight- dinner than drinks with my friend- and I intend to enjoy each moment, embracing the simplicity and pleasantness of the experience. I am not going to worry about what might happen tomorrow. I am not going to think about issues or stressors that are not currently relevant. I will not let my brain fly off into another dimension- dwelling over the past, fearing the future, counting calories, worrying about my weight, thinking about tasks that need to be done. I am simply going to take in the now because that's all any of us can really do. We can't change the past and we can't predict the future. We shouldn't allow our minds to take control and detract from our abilities to take life as it comes and enjoy what's going on in the present. Lets take Confucius's words to heart and think about life as a simple matter. Perhaps if we allow ourselves to move forward day-by-day and take life as it comes, rather than attempting to juggle and think about a million different things at once, then we can avoid making life more complicated than it is.

Keep it simple and enjoy,

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for everything. Just reading these wise words have helped me to be calm. I will read this particular entry again and again to help keep me grounded.