Saturday, November 17, 2012

Trust Your Gut

You Know Yourself Best

Having Faith in Your Inner Voice

Mother doesn't always know best-
If you read my most recent post, The Cowardly Lion, you know that I have been very distraught over the fear that I unknowingly had spiraled back into the depths of my anorexia. I came to this conclusion based on a deduction my Mom had my about my weight based solely on my appearance. I spent the last few days in a tail spin, fearing the worst, and questioning myself and my inner voice. This morning I finally stepped on the scale and was shocked by the number that appeared. I had not lost any weight at all! I was actually a couple pounds heavier than the limit set by team. I had been worked up over absolutely nothing. While I was extremely angry at my Mother and frustrated that I had spent the last few days worrying the experience has taught me a valuable lesson- trust my gut. I didn't feel as if I was getting sick. I felt healthy, energized, and alive. My social and academic life seemed to be thriving. I didn't feel like I had lost weight or that I was in the grips of my illness once again and I was right. At the end of the day I know myself best. I know when things are not right and when I am slipping back into my illness. My gut was telling me that everything was ok but those around me were telling me otherwise. What it comes down to is realizing that we know ourselves best and we must have faith in our voices and trust that our instincts will let us know when we are in danger or things are not quite right. 

"I feel there are two people inside of me- me and my intuition. If I go against her she'll screw me every time, and if I follow her, we get along quite nicely."

- Kim Basinger

We all have an inner voice, our intuition, that tells us things, gives us feelings, and helps us to make decisions as long as we choose to listen to it. Gut feelings can help us in a variety of situations and often presents itself as a hunch. It's acting when we have a bad feeling about someone or if a person just rubs us the wrong way. It can help us make decisions regarding investments and spending money. It will prevent us from doing things- taking a trip, contacting a friend, leave a bar alone- by giving us a bad feeling about it. We usually can't explain exactly why we feel the way that we do but we know something in us is sending us a warning. 
Go ahead and listen to that inner voice  !
My inner voice is usually correct and I don't have a problem listening to it and following its advice. However I strayed from my instincts in this most recent situation and as Basinger said "she screw[ed]" me. Putting my trust in others rather than believing that I know myself best resulted in days of unnecessary tumult, depression, fear, and doubt. If I had just had faith in my inner voice from the start than I could avoided the wretchedness that these past few days brought. Other people are useful for providing insight and drawing attention to things about ourselves that we may have not noticed. But ultimately if what these other people say seems completely off track and goes against everything your gut is telling you we need to learn to trust our gut and disregard the opinions and assumptions that others makes about us. The following are two affirmations of my own creation that I hope we will be able to use in the future in order to inspire us to believe in and trust ourselves-

I trust that adhering to my inner voice and intuition will lead me in the direction of health and happiness.

I know what is best for me and what I need in order to live a fulfilling life.

In using these affirmations I hope to strengthen my inner voice and increase my ability to trust it. I want to be able to believe in myself and trust my gut regardless of what external voices and messages are feeding to me. No one else knows how it feels to be us, to be in our minds and bodies, to think our thoughts, and feel the connection between our thoughts and our well-being. I know that when I am getting sick or at a very low weight I am exhausted all of the time, I have no desire to be around other people, I can't focus on basic tasks, and overall I simply can't function. None of these things have been happening to me. If I had just trusted that I do in fact no myself better than anyone else than I could have disregarded the comments my Mother made about my appearance. But for a moment I let myself believe that perhaps my Mother knew me better than I knew myself and I allowed her words and emotions permeate my mind and soul and consequently dictate the tone of these past few days. This experience has reaffirmed I belief that I already possessed and reminded me never to lose sight of it again- I know myself best. If I am feeling sick or as if I need help I will reach out as I have always done in the past. But today I feel good! I feel energized and awake! I feel motivated and hopeful! I feel alive! I am trying to trust my gut which is telling me that I can make it through the end of the semester, that I will be home for Christmas, and that I know myself better than anyone else.

Don't let your faith in yourself waver- do what feels right,

Trust your gut- sometimes it know better than the brain !