Do Not Disturb

It's Time for Bed

A Soothing Evening Affirmation

I have not posted an evening affirmation for quite a while. However, after a few tumultuous days, I am finding the need for a soothing affirmation in order to prepare myself for bed this evening. Today started off pretty well, I made it to my class and was able to complete a decent amount of work, but I soon found myself overwhelmed by unpleasant feelings and dark thoughts. The darkness of the night sky is seeming to only serve as a means of intensifying the gloom that overtook me earlier in the day. I am longing for something to alleviate these mental and emotional disturbances. I wish that telling my mind that it's time for bed was as simple as placing a do not disturb sign on the door knob of a hotel room; unfortunately, this is not the case. We need to work a little harder in order to notify our minds and bodies that it's time for bed.

I am hoping that the following soothing evening affirmation will serve the same purpose as the handy do not disturb signs that are provided to guests at hotels.

I soothe my nerves, welcoming peace into my being, by releasing all mental tensions.

"...welcoming peace into my being..."

This evening affirmation is the perfect fit for me this evening as my mind continues to twist and turn. If I am successful in embodying this affirmation than I have the ability to find peace and quiet by releasing the disturbing and painful thoughts and emotions that have been haunting me recently. I pray for the strength to let go of any tension that may disturb my ability to find peace, soothe myself, and prepare for bed. 

We all experience thoughts, situations, and feelings that can interfere with our ability to release mental tension. These things do not obey a do not disturb sign that we may hang on our hotel door. It is up to us to create a message to our mind that tells it that it's time for bed and that it is no longer permitted to disturb us with painful memories, upsetting thoughts, or negative emotions. Let us use this soothing affirmation in order to give notice to our minds and bodies that it's time for bed and we no longer entertain thoughts and emotions that prevent us from achieving a sense of peace. 

Let us repeat this affirmation like a mantra until we can fully absorb it. As I say these words aloud I envision my nerves slowly releasing any tension that has built up over the course of the day. I watch disturbing mental images and thoughts float away into the infinite beyond. 

"I look at peace, imaging it taking shape in the form of a white tulip..."

I look at peace, imagining it taking shape in the form of a white tulip, and it sits by my side, watching over me as I slowly enter the blissful dream land that sleep affords us. The white, purity of peace enters my mind and soul, and I manage to put aside the anger, frustration, and tension that has grown within me over the course of the last few days. I will continue to repeat this affirmation until I feel the full effects of its soothing powers. I encourage you to do the same. If we manage to absorb these words, and alert our minds that they are not to disturb us as we strive to achieve a peaceful sleep, than we will be able to awake tomorrow feeling truly rested and refreshed. 

It's time for bed, so goodnight friends, sleep well-

xo

Carry-On Luggage

Hooked on Happiness

Sustaining Good Feelings During Our Everyday Lives

"I wanted...to pack [the good feelings] in my carry-on luggage..."

I am back from vacation and currently sitting in the Saxbys on Penn's campus. The break proved to be exactly what I needed in order to be refueled and revived. I am bursting with good feelings that are stemming from the wonderful trip that I was able to take with my Mom. As I left the Cayman Islands I found that I had gained more than just a kick ass tan. I was departing with new feelings- calm, relaxed, hopeful, contented, energized, and happy. I was enjoying these feelings so much; I was truly hooked. I wanted to be able to bottle them up (in a 3.4 oz container of course) and somehow manage to pack them in my carry-on luggage and bring them back to Philadelphia with me. Of course I knew that was an impossibility because feelings and emotions are not tangible items that we can put away and store for later.

Hooked on Happiness

But still, I am so hooked on happiness that I need to figure out a way to sustain these good feelings so that they are able to positive influence me and my everyday life. After experiencing something pleasant- vacations, a good date, receiving praise, a reunion with an old friend- we are left with good feelings and happiness. But so often we fear the end of the happy event because we are concerned that once it is over- the trips ends, you have your goodnight kiss, your friend says farewell- that good feelings will cease to exist as well. Seeking and enjoying pleasantries is important; but it is probably more important that we learn a means of sustaining the resulting good feelings. 

Not all pleasures will make us jump for joy-

"Tranquil pleasures last the longest; we are not fitted to bear the burden of great joys."

- Christian Nestell Bovee

I chose to include Bovee's quote because I feel that it provides an explanation for why these moments, which bring us such overwhelming delight, must end. We are not meant to be overjoyed in all instances of our lives. If every moment or experience was a "great joy" they would start to lost their worth and meaning. It is the fact that these "great joys" are scarce that makes them so special and pleasurable. Perhaps it is the ability to maintain the good feelings, which accompany these moments of elation that allow us to achieve the longer lasting "tranquil pleasures."The "great joys" get us hooked on happiness.

It is this love of happiness and joy that leads us to pursue means of sustaining good feelings even during the monotony of our everyday lives. Just because happy experiences or "great joys" end does not mean that the positive emotions that they induce need to be fleeting. We can manage to hold on to these feelings- contentment, peace, happiness, etc.- so that they play a role in our everyday lives and provide us with the less demanding "tranquil pleasures." Although I was unable to literally pack up my positive emotions, tucking them away in my carry-on luggage somewhere between my dirty socks and the souvenir candle I purchased for a friend, I do believe that I have managed to bring these good feelings with me back to Philadelphia and as a result am continuing to experience the "pleasure" of which Bovee speaks. 

Sustaining Good Feelings

So, the question is: How is that I managed to metaphorically pack up my intangible emotions? Truthfully, I am not sure that I can offer an honest answer to this question because bring these good feelings back with me was truly an unconscious act. All I know is that they are here with me now. But I worry that once school gets back in full swing that I will somehow lose them while walking from one class to another. 

"It was easy to...maintain my good feelings...on vacation."

It was easy to experience and maintain my good feelings while I was away on vacation. I had no obligations. My only duty was to wake up in the morning, head to the beach, soak up the sun, read for pleasure, and drink margaritas. So obviously there was no concern that my happiness would cease because there was no outside force threatening it. Now that I am home and have somehow managed to bring these pleasant feelings along with me I am terrified of losing them. 

How can I continue feeling good?

How can we manage to sustain good feelings during our everyday lives, despite the many elements that could interfere with our abilities to do so? I would like us to consider two quotes as means of grappling with this question and potentially finding an answer to it. 

"Only one thing has to change for us to know happiness in our lives: where we focus our attention."

- Greg Anderson

This quote seems fitting with respect to the way in which I have managed to sustain the good feelings I experienced during my vacation. Of course Anderson's words could accompany a plethora of themes and notions; they can be applied to other situations in which we find ourselves. However, the idea of "focus" and its connection to "happiness in our lives" struck me. This thought can be applied in two ways. First, we can utilize focus in our everyday lives, especially in a moment of sadness of anguish, by remembering the things from our previous experiences that brought us happiness. 

"...the sunshine...always [brought] a smile to my face."

For example, the sunshine and the beautiful beach in Grand Cayman filled me with joy, always bringing a smile to my face. If I can hold onto these images, and choose to focus on them in mundane or unpleasant times, then I can elicit the sense of happiness that they provided me with while I was on vacation. I may not be on the beach, soaking up the sun, but I still have the memories and distinct images of the sun and sand ingrained in my mind. I can't physically find them as walk the streets of Philadelphia, but they exist within my head. I can tap into these mental pictures, focus on them, and allow them to bring me happiness and good feelings wherever I am. The second way in which we can apply Anderson's "focus" theory actually works well in conjunction with the following quote-

"Some pursue happiness, others create it."

- Author Unknown

Anderson suggests that we redirect our "attention" in order to have "happiness in our lives." I want to assert that we "focus" on the elements of our pleasant experiences that brought about good feelings within us. I was able to find happiness in a number of sources while I was away. I found joy in being able to read for pleasure. I loved having the opportunity to spend time with my Mother without any stressors or distractions. I had fun sitting in the hotel lobby or on the beach playing endless rounds of 500 Rummy. I couldn't help but feel pleased each time I took my first sip of a frozen peach margarita. And it was nice to take the time to get dressed up and go out to dinner. 

"...endless round of 500 Rummy."

Now that I have given "focus" to, and in doing so recognized, the different things and activities that brought me happiness while I was away, I can work to recreate them in my everyday life now that I am home. I may not be able to magically create 80 degree weather and white beaches, but I definitely have the power to incorporate some of the other aspects of my vacation into my routine. 

I certainly can't recreate this-

This is where Anderson's idea of "focus" and the above quotes assertion about "creat[ing] [happiness] are able to work together. Redirecting the "focus" of my "attention" helped me to determine what is was about vacation that evoked good feelings within me. Now I am equipped to "create [happiness]" in my everyday life by integrating these practices from my vacation. 

"I can plan activities to do with my Mom..."

I can easily make time to pick up a book and read a little bit each day. I can plan activities to do with my Mom that allow us to escape the pressures of reality, even if only for a short period. And I can arrange to have nice dinners with friends and family that require us to get dolled up. It is so simple for me to recreate these elements of my vacation even though I am now back in Philadelphia; it is all about choosing to take the time and effort that's required to incorporate these little things into my everyday life. If we are able to identify actions that bring us joy and are feasible to include into our routines then we have the capability of literally creating happiness for ourselves. Just because the "great joy" has passed does not mean that you need to slip back into the frustrating monotony that defines so many of our lives. Once we become hooked on happiness we do have the power to feed our fix. 

False advertising! Happiness requires a will and a want-

We must redirect our "attention" in order to summon pleasant memories and consequently good feelings is merely one way that we can sustain good feelings. We can also make the decision to  identify and focus the elements of our pleasant experiences that brought us joy, and then proceed to actively recreate these factors, in order to achieve happiness in our everyday lives. 

We may not be able to pack up our good feelings, shoving them into the confines of our carry-on bags, but with the right tools, we have the power to sustain them during our everyday lives and conjure up happiness no matter where we go! It's ok to be hooked on happiness once you've discovered your capacity to achieve it everywhere and anywhere!

Let the good times roll,

xo

Hooked on a Feeling, B.J. Thomas

Lets work to sustain good feelings during our everday lives-

If You Wanna Be Happy, Jimmy Soul

We hold the key to our own happiness-

Sick as a Dog

Starting Second Semester

Playing Catch Up Already

Sick as a Dog

I apologize for my lack of posting recently. As I found myself starting second semester I discovered the unfortunate fact that I was sick as a dog. A trip to student health verified my suspicion that I had a double ear infection. I couldn't think of a less convenient time to be overcome by illness. It is the beginning of a new semester- new classes, new teachers, new start- and have been unable to attend a number of classes. My French course is already in full gear. There is one class I have yet to go to at all. And I am already overwhelmed and stressed because I am playing catch up so early into the new term. I am behind on readings in all my classes. I haven't completed a number of assignments already due in my French course and I have a quiz tomorrow that covers material I haven't even glanced at yet. I am frustrated and anxious. We aren't even two weeks into the semester...how is it possible that I feel so behind already? The next few days and the upcoming weekend will certainly be dedicated to catching up in all my classes. It is so important that I begin the semester strongly because it will set the tone for the remainder of the semester. Missing classes and fall behind on assignments is not ideal way to kick off second semester. I suppose I need to be fair to myself. It is not my fault that I became sick as a dog. My inability to attend classes and finish assignments is not reflective of my aptitude and dedication as a student. I know that once I am back to my regular, healthy self that I will be able to focus on my classes and my work in the manner that I have become accustomed to. But there is a great deal lying between me and my regular and healthy self. First and foremost I need to get well. Once I am feeling better I can concentrate on catching up and then move forward with the semester. I can't focus on new material being presented until I have caught up on what I have missed. 

Playing Catch Up Already

I am trying to remain calm in the midst of this catch up game that I find myself in; becoming overly stressed will on interfere with my ability to make up the work that lies in front of me. I am attempting to look forward rather than backward. I cannot help the fact that I became so sick so quickly. I can't rewind the past few days and undo the choices I have made. I decided to stay in bed and rest instead of pushing myself to go to classes. (I am conveniently forgetting the fact that I found myself unable to move let alone attend a class.) I went to bed early and slept late; consequently I did not have the time to pay attention to my workload that was quickly mounting as I lay sick in bed. However, my choices, to tend to my health needs, allowed me to get up today and make my way to my two classes. Yes, I am behind but I can't let this stop me from continuing onward. Now that I am feeling better it is up to me to concentrate on the tasks at hand, get up to speed in all my classes, and move forward. How am I going to help myself while attempting to do these three things- concentrate, catch up, and continue forward? I am going to focus on a calming affirmation that will enable me to stay relaxed as I strive to fulfill these three goals.

I am calm, relaxed, and in control.

It is key that I embody this affirmation in order to confidently move forward. Being calm and relaxed will allow me to see things clearly. The haze of stress interferes with our abilities to clearly recognize what needs to be done and prioritize tasks accordingly. 

Breathe in calm, breathe out stress-

If we can remain calm and relaxed in the midst of stressful situations then we have already one half the battle. A calm mind correlates to a clear mind; a mind that can organize unfinished tasks and complete them with focus and accuracy. Control is another crucial element when confronted with an anxiety provoking situation. When everything seems to be flying around chaotically, when life seems to be moving at an unbelievable speed, when work bombards us with unrelenting force, we need to compose ourselves and regain a degree of control. How do we obtain this control when everything seems chaotic and unmanageable? Well, honestly, it's difficult to say. The first thing to do is sit down, stop moving, and breathe. Let calmness wash over you and clear your mind. Then, with this new found clarity, look at the work and tasks that you need to complete. Once you know what you need to do then look at the amount of time you have to complete said tasks. Organize your work in conjunction with your available time. Plot out a plan or a schedule. Look at your plan and recognize that you can do this. You have the time to complete the work that needs to be done. You have control over this stressful situation; you can remedy the problem. It is easier to believe that you are in control and have the power to fix the issue (in my case catch up) when you can look at the dilemma clearly and concisely.

"[I] can remedy the problem."

As I am writing this I am breathing and letting go any stressful energy that I may have been holding onto. I am allowing myself to feel calm and relaxed. I am clearing my mind. I am preparing myself to face the mountain of work that accumulated while I was sick. I will begin to list my assignments and tasks with a calm and clear mind. I will tackle them with an air of relaxation and confidence. I will prioritize my work and schedule all assignments and tasks accordingly. As I begin to construct a plan I will feel more in control of the situation the I find myself in. I may be playing catch up already but that does not mean that I will be feeling behind and overwhelmed for the remainder of the semester. No, this has not been the best start to this semester; however, I have the ability to collect myself and move forward strongly. As I begin to make progress with my work I will be able to see that maybe I am not as far behind as I thought. I will chip away at my mountain of work; in time I will be back on course. I will move forward with the semester and in hindsight this period will appear as a blip on my radar. I need to put this situation into perspective rather than blow it out of proportion. I am only one week into a semester that spans 3 months. I guess I have to ask myself, how far behind could I actually be? The answer is obvious- probably not that much. If I approach this situation calmly and confidently then I am sure I will find that this issue is easily remedied with a few days of dedication, diligence, and focus.

Time for me to run and start catching up,

xo

A Kitten Left Behind

Separation Anxiety

In Desperate Need of Milly Kisses

Sometimes Milly helps me blog !

I have been on vacation with family in Florida for the last week or so. I agreed to the trip under the belief that my kitten, Milly, would be able to join us. However, as the trip drew closer I soon discovered that Milly would not be able to come. I felt extreme guilt and anger. The two of us have not been apart since the day I adopted her 3 months ago. Having never owned a pet before I didn't understand why people got so upset and anxious when they were forced to leave their pets. Now that I am a "Mommy" I completely understand.

"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened."

- Anatole France

I can say that France's words  apply to me. Milly has awakened a part of my heart that I didn't even know existed. I didn't know I could love with such fervor. I always knew that I had a strong protective instinct but it has grown immensely since I adopted my kitten. Milly has provoked me to put her needs above my own- refill her food bowl when all I want to do is lay in bed, play with her when I simply want to sit and think, empty her litter box when I don't feel like leaving the apartment. Milly depends on me for everything- food, water, affection. She follows me everywhere I go. After I have been out for a bit she comes running to the door as soon as she hears my voice. She rolls on her back and waits for me to rub her belly and nuzzle with her. And in return I rely on her for company, soothing, and love. She sits on my belly while I sleep. She snuggles in the crook of my arm. She displays her affection with loving licks, which I fondly refer to as kisses. 

A Kitten Left Behind

I felt awful leaving her; she couldn't understand that it would only be for a short time, that I would be coming back. And I anticipated, with certainty, that I would experience separation anxiety while we were apart. Milly has been my number one motivator over the course of the past few months. She has brought warmth and happiness into my life. I was concerned about how I would be able to find calm and feel love without her constant presence. Our first few days in Florida were ok and I didn't think too much about my kitten left behind. There was ample distraction for me as my family and I walked the streets of South Beach. The upcoming New Year provided me with an event to think about and look forward to. Milly was still in my heart but she was not constantly on my mind. However, as soon as we got to Sarasota everything changed. 

The day we arrived was the same day I found out about the death of my friend. (Discussed in yesterday's entry, Life is Precious.) I was beyond distraught, and although I was surrounded by my family, they were unable to provide me with the love and sympathy that I needed. My grief and pain were not describable and could not be mended with words of compassion. My inaudible emotions could only be healed by a love and comfort that can't be spoken. I needed my kitten and I still do. She has a way of making me feel whole. Her purring soothes me and tells me that everything will be ok somehow. I can't describe the magnificent impact that she is able to have on me. But I can sense that I am in desperate need of Milly kisses right now. Perhaps it is this unspoken and non-human love that will be able to pull me out of the depths of misery and sorrow that I am currently experiencing.

"Love cures people- both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it."

- Karl Menninger

I know Menninger's quote to be true. When I am in relationships with others- friends, family, Milly- that involve love I feel an infinite sense of peace and healing. But, right now, as I grapple with an abundance of difficult emotions, the only love I long for is that of my kitten, Milly. The sadness over the loss of my friend is being amplified by my separation anxiety. There are no words to comfort me. Most humans don't want to sit down and talk about difficult or depressing issues. I know Milly would listen to me regardless of the topic; her willingness to listen to my sadness brings me comfort even if she does not understand what I am saying. It doesn't matter that she can't comprehend my words because she can sense my emotions and she can respond accordingly. She wipes away my tears with Milly kisses. She warms my heart by protectively snuggling on my tummy while I sleep. She soothes my nerves by purring with pleasure. She exudes love, peace, and positivity; these are all elements I need at the moment. 

Love is medecine !

I need my Milly to offer the love that "cures people" because my human relationships are unable to provide me with this at the moment. We all experience separation anxiety at some point in our lives. Sometimes it is over a pet, sometimes a friend, sometimes a loved one. The nice things about separation anxiety is that it is usually easily cured; it will dissipate once you are reunited with the person or animal who you have been apart from. But sometimes separation anxiety is permanent. 
There are those occasions when you will never be reunited with the one you are yearning for. This permanency can be for a number of reasons- death, moving, a relationship deteriorating- and in these cases we need to figure out how to cope. Maybe it involves becoming more active and trying to distract yourself. Perhaps you need to reach out in order to build new relationships; they will never replace the old ones but they can help to fill the void. And you can always do what I did- adopt a pet. You will be doing an invaluable service to both you as well as the animal that you save. Thankfully the separation anxiety I am feeling regarding Milly is not permanent. We will be reunited tomorrow and I will be able to snuggle with her for hours on end. She will purr and love me and hopefully provide me with the comfort that I need in order to get through this rough time. Sometimes human contact isn't able to provide us with the compassion required to overcome hardships and cope with grief. Sometimes the simple love of an animal is the perfect antidote for pain.

"Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet."

- Colette

Wishing you a calm and happy day,
xo

"[Milly] rolls on her back and waits for me to rub her belly..."

I promised Milly I'd be back; the separation anxiety will cease-

Magical Snowflakes

Walking in a Winter Wonderland

Embracing Nature's Beauty

Remember making these as kids ?

As much as I complain about winter and condemn the snow, even I have to admit that there is something magical about the first real snowfall of the season. I peer outside my window and appreciate the beauty of the magical snowflakes falling. I have been taking brief little strolls, embracing the mounting snow and nature's beauty. These magical snowflakes land upon me, covering my fur trimmed hood and creating a halo like image. They dust my coat and pants, looking like magical fairy dust. The whiteness that surrounds me fills me with a sense of peace. How could I condemn these magical snowflakes and the winter wonderland that they create? It is not actually the first snow. We experienced a few flakes that granted the Philadelphia area a white Christmas. But the snowfall was not substantial and it soon melted away. This is our first true snowy day and I am thoroughly enjoying it. Perhaps it is the novelty of the first snow that is contributing to my change of heart? Or maybe it is because I am not being forced to leave the warmth of my home and schlep about in it? But regardless of the reason I am content and almost excited as I watch the flakes fall and the snow accumulate. It brings back childhood memories- days off from school, sledding with my brother, making snow angels- and my heart is warmed despite the freezing temperatures outside. I can't help but embrace the beauty that I see as nature drapes our dirty world in a pure and magical whiteness. It's as if the troubles, dangers, horrors, and sadness of the world disappear when I stand in the midst of the falling snow. Everything goes quiet and I am left with my thoughts; somehow these thoughts aren't frightening or negative as they usually tend to be. My mind is silent and clean like the world that surrounds me. Nature's beauty offers me a gift as I walk in this winter wonderland; I am calm- at peace with myself as well as the people and the world that surrounds me. 

Magical Snowflakes

"Snow flurries began to fall and they swirled around people's legs like house cats. It was magical, this snow globe world."

- Sarah Addison Allen, The Sugar Queen

This quote from Allen perfectly reflects how I am feeling about the snow right now. (Plus it includes a reference to cats so I can't help but like it, hah.) The snow flurries, these magical snowflakes, surround and embrace me. Likewise I embrace them.

"...snowflakes surround and embrace me."

They fall gracefully and lightly. The wind takes them easily in different directions. They find resting places on trees, rooftops, bushes, and occasionally upon my very own hooded head. Collectively they create a magical "snow globe world," a winter wonderland, and I can't help but abandon my previous opinions of the snow. How could I ever curse such a glorious sight? I find myself wholeheartedly embracing nature's beauty and the somewhat magical impact it is having on me. It has been a long time since my mind has relaxed. It seems as if my brain is constantly moving even when it should be calm. When I sit down to do nothingness my mind intercedes and forces my thoughts to spin, taking me places that I'd rather not go. As I take my walk in this winter wonderland my mind is finally able to rest. I am at ease. I am content in the present moment, not regretting the past or mourning losses that cannot be regained; I am not worried about what my future holds for me. I am able to truly be here- in this moment and place. I am so thankful for these magical snowflakes and this winter wonderland that has been gifted by nature; this snowfall has given me something I have needed and wanted for a long time now- peace. I have been blessed in my life with many things- a supportive family, educational opportunities, intellect, material possessions beyond compare, my adoring kitten- but it seems that it has forgotten to provide with me a crucial ability: the capability to find and feel peace.

Finding peace in the snow-

I am thankful and I am embracing nature's beauty, this first real snowfall, because it has worked magic for me personally. It has allowed me to be at peace with myself, with this world, with my current situation, with my tainted past and uncertain future. As I stand outside the magical snowflakes work their powers on me; they silence my mind, quell my fears, and allow me to embody peace. Peacefulness is a wonderful feeling. I hope to experience it more often in the future. I am going to share an affirmation that will hopefully enable me to find peace even when white, pure snow is not surrounding me. I encourage you to utilize this affirmation now and in the future whenever you feel the need to be calmed and filled with a sense of peace. 

Shh..be quiet brain !

A quiet mind oversees everything I do.

Although this affirmation doesn't directly reference peace, I chose it because it is exceptionally relevant to me and my own shortcoming. As I have said, I have trouble silencing my mind, stopping swirling thoughts, and allowing myself to simply be. I would like to work on embodying this affirmation. A quiet mind may be able to help me with other issues I encounter in my life- anxiety, OCD tendencies, perfectionism, self-judgment and criticism. I am thinking that a clear mind will allow me to focus more on things in life that are actually important to me- family, friends, school, personal passions, my blog- rather than things that I can rationally say are meaningless or insignificant. Who cares if my hair isn't pulled back exactly even on both sides? What does it matter if my bed isn't made (with my eight pillows perfectly aligned) before I leave my apartment? What will happen if I don't perform my morning routine in the same order every single day? Will the world end if I get an A- instead of an A? I spend so much time thinking about all these different things that I have no time to put effort into my passions and simple pleasures. I want time to read for enjoyment. I want to get an extra half hour of sleep each morning. I want to act on my desire to help spread awareness about eating disorders. I want to be able to arrive at meetings, parties, and dinners on time.
I want the freedom that comes with a quiet and peaceful mind. If I am able to embody this affirmation and silence my mind than perhaps I won't feel compelled to be, look, act, and perform perfect or perfectly all the time; it's truly exhausting and takes time from me that I would like to use in other ways. Now I find myself wondering how I managed to write an entry regarding peace and OCD/perfectionist tendencies when I started with a very simple topic: snow. Perhaps it is the magic of the snowfall that inspired the direction of my writing this afternoon. I had no idea that the weather could have such a profound influence on me. Maybe these truly are magical snowflakes and you too could benefit from having a few land on your sleeve. Go outside and take a walk in this winter wonderland. Encourage your children to play and frolic in the snow; join them if the urge arises. Embrace nature's beauty as you watch the flurries fall and as you look out upon the expanse of white that envelops our world. You may find that this first snowfall enlightens you and brings you a gift similar to that which it gave me. Allow the magical snowflakes to work their wonder on you. Don't hesitate to take a step outside; brave the cold and embrace nature's beauty. When the winter cold manages to permeate your layers and chill you to the bone you always have the option to retreat back to the warmth of your home.

Bundle up and take a walk in a winter wonderland,

xo

My own personal Winter Wonderland !

Winter Wonderland, Pat Boone

4 Days Til 2013!

These just don't seem very practical for New Year's Eve...

No Sleep Tonight

Up and About at 4 A.M.

Stress is a Funny Thing

I am awake. Don't ask me why. If I had to take a wild guess I would blame it on stress. I don't feel stressed out but my body is telling me otherwise. My last paper is due in a few days and I know I have more than enough time to complete it. But, my body must be feeling some sense of urgency. When I know I have work ahead of me I have a difficult time sleeping. So, although I am relatively tired and would love to be sound asleep in my warm bed at the moment, I am not. Instead I am up and about at 4 A.M. and I am not very happy about it. Since it seems apparent to me that I am not getting any more sleep tonight I decided that I would be productive instead. So here I am, sitting at my kitchen counter, writing a blog entry. I have already looked up at the hours for Starbucks and am planning on going there as soon as they open so I can begin writing my last assignment. I might as well just get it done as soon as I can...I can always sleep later...I suppose that stress is a funny thing and works in mysterious ways. We all react differently to it and it can manifest in numerous ways. It doesn't ever seem to be consistent. Sometimes when I am stressed all I can do is sleep. While at other times (like today) I can't manage to sleep at all because of the multitude of thoughts bouncing around in my head. Sometimes I'll get ulcers in my mouth. Other times I won't be able to eat at all. But occasionally my response will be the exact opposite of that and all I will want to do is eat. I don't understand stress but perhaps I am not meant to. All I know at this point is that my underlying stress is resulting in no sleep tonight. Although I don't feel stressed or seem to be exhibiting it's usual symptoms- fast heart beat, clammy hands, butterflies in my stomach- I have to believe that stress is the reason I am awake right now. (I can't think of any other reasonable cause.) So I want to focus on an affirmation about stress and attempting to manage it-

I breathe and face stressors with a calm mind and relaxed attitude.

I feel as if this is an affirmation that I can truly embody. I know my anxiety about making progress on my paper is keeping me awake but I will not allow this stressor to provoke a level of debilitating stress within me. I have a plan. I have time. I know what needs to be done and I have the means- mentally, intellectually, and with regard to time- to complete the steps required to create a well-organized, quality paper. It is counterproductive when we allow ourselves to get worked up about stressors and challenges in our life. We are unable to do anything about them if our stress reaches a high level- We can't think straight. We can't sit still. We can't focus on what needs to be done when we are overwhelmed and we end up putting more energy into the act of be stressed instead of into the task or problem that needs to be faced. The only way to respond to stressors, no matter what they are- organizing a party, writing a paper, entertaining guests, resolving a fight, studying for an exam- is with an air of confidence and sense of calmness. Look at what needs to be done, map out how much time you have to complete everything, organize your thoughts, and then get started. Stress is a part of life. It's not going anywhere. No matter who you are or what your occupation is- student, stay at home mom, doctor, teacher, therapist- stress will always find a way to enter your life. For this reason we must learn the most effective ways to cope with it. We need to utilize tools that allow us to deal with stressors in a healthy and productive way. While not getting a good nights sleep is not the most healthy way to handle a stressor, such as my paper, it doesn't really seem to be in my control right now. The only thing I can do is make the most of this time by getting some work done. Hopefully completing some of the work will help to reduce my stress level and I'll be able to catch up on sleep later.

Truly, the only way to eliminate stress is to face the thing that is causing it. In my cause it's my final assignment. The only way to remove some of the stress that it is causing is by buckling down and making progress on it. Similarly, the only way to eliminate stress caused by a fight with a friend is to face the person and talk about it. The only way to alleviate stress resulting from a heavy workload is to start working and gradually reducing the load. The only means of eliminating stress resulting for entertaining guests is to get your house in order and prepare for their arrival. Put simply, the only way to completely release your stress is by taking action against and/or in response to that which is causing it. Sitting around and worrying about it isn't going to a damn thing. Frantically attempting to face it is not the most productive or healthy way to fight it. To reduce the stress in our lives lets be proactive. Lets look our stressor in the eye and take a deep breath. If we believe that we can handle the situation then nothing is preventing us from remaining calm and relaxed when going head to head with our stressors. As we go about our days and stressors or challenges enter our path let us remember this affirmation, let us remind ourselves that we are capable, and lets not allow stressors to stress us out.

Hope you all are sleeping well while I'm up and about,

xo

12 Days Til Christmas, 5th Night of Hannukah

Christmas Lights on Locust Walk at University of Pennsylvania- These always cheer me up on my way to class !

Silent Night, Bing Crosby