"I think I can, I think I can..."

Believe in Yourself!

A Lesson in Self Confidence and Self Assurance

"I think I can, I think I can..."

Last night I was really struggling mentally. Thoughts of self doubt, disappointment, anxiety, failure, fear, and sadness continued to ruminate in my mind. No matter what I did- journal, distract, attempt to sleep- they would not go away. I am not sure exactly what sparked this negative thought pattern. I think it may have to do with a birthday card I recently received my my parents. They both mentioned my perseverance, deserving of greatness and happiness, my abilities to fight, and their confidence in me. The card nearly made me cry. They mentioned many things about me and my life that I don't feel myself. How can those around me have so much faith in me when I have so little faith in myself? They are so confident that I can finish this semester and stay healthy. They are proud of everything I have already accomplished and overcome. Yet I see no indication of certainty that I will be able to stay well and I definitely don't see my past as anything to be proud of. I have made so many mistakes and fallen into multiple self-imposed traps. My weaknesses come from within myself and my own mental psyche. I don't see my past actions as accomplishments but rather errors that I needed to fix or deal with. How can we convince ourselves to believe in ourselves as much as others believe in us? How do we make ourselves see what others find so apparent? How do we recognize our past struggles as issues we have successful overcome instead of personal mistakes or faults? I wish I could see the greatness that others see in me but either my vision is completely blurred or they are plain wrong. In the light of optimism I am going to rely on the fact that my sight is skewed. The success and greatness is there, I have just not discovered a way to recognize it yet. I have a couple tools for us to utilize in an effort to see ourselves in the good light that others see us and to inspire self confidence, self assurance, and most of all belief in ourselves.

Strike a pose and be confident !

First I would like to present an affirmation regarding confidence that we can reflect upon-

Every challenge I overcome strengthens my confidence and determination.

I chose this affirmation specifically because it mentions overcoming challenges. Perhaps if I can look at my past issues as challenges rather than personal errors or faults that I can recognize the value in my ability to get past them. My past has been full of challenges that I often regard as self-inflicted. But perhaps I am not to blame. Maybe no one is to blame. In all of our lives shit happens and it is up to us to get through the situations and overcome them. It is not my fault that I am anorexic, it is not solely my fault that I needed to transfer schools, my need to re-enter treatment was not a personal fallacy but a relapse. I still have a hard time believing these statements. Ultimately I do feel that these occurrences were and are my fault. I don't know what it takes to change one's mindset and view challenges as merely difficult situations with no one to blame. Because I blame myself for these challenges I feel personally responsible to fix them and therefore feel that no congratulation is due for overcoming them. I had no choice. They were my fault so I was obligated to make things right. I suppose regardless, whether I felt obligated or not, I was still able to overcome these struggles and that ability alone shows strength and promise. Even after writing all of this I am still not sure what I believe. 

However I do find other tools useful in promoting belief in oneself. I try to use "I want" and "I can" statements. For example my personal statements at the moment are-

I want to be at school.

I can finish this semester without interruption.

I want to be here, at school, with my friends.

When you link accomplishments to "want" and "can" they become more personal and seemingly more attainable. "I have to" statements don't inspire motivation but rather make the task seem daunting and obligatory. This tactic can be used in any aspect of your life. "I want to wake up this morning." "I can confront a negative worker." "I can finish my tasks for today." Try using these in your everyday life and witness the positive impacts they have on your mood and your abilities.

Lastly I would like to share a very simple and optimistic quote about believing-

"Be believing, be happy, don't get discouraged. Things will work out."

- Gordon B. Hinckley

 If all else fails listen to the words of this quote and try to live by them. Hardships and struggles will continue to come our way but we cannot allow them to stop us. We must continue to believe- believe in others, believe in fate, believe in happiness, and believe in ourselves. If we maintain these beliefs and many others we may honestly be able to believe that things will work out. Lets work to not fret over the challenges or mistakes of our past. Lets forget blame and fault. Placing blame on ourselves or others won't change what has been. The only thing we can do is be optimistic and hold on to the belief that we can make a better future for ourselves. We must believe that in spite of our trials we have prevailed and we will continue to prevail. We can believe that we are strong and capable. We want to believe that happiness is waiting for us. We can have faith that despite past and present troubles or concerns things will work out. Lets work our hardest to believe in ourselves and see ourselves the way our loved ones see us. We our own worst critics and we don't deserve the harsh critique we have to offer ourselves. Believe in yourself, your strength, your abilities, your spirit, your worth. Positive beliefs will lead to happy selves and happy lives.

Believe in yourself and that it's going to be ok,

xo

Sorry it can't be bought but it's somewhere within you and me!