Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Lost Without a Map!

Feelings of Confusion

What Do You Do When You're Unmotivated, Uninspired- Simply Lost

I am very lost at the moment. No, I don't mean physically. I know exactly where I am physically. I am currently in Saxby's in West Philadelphia only 2 blocks from my apartment but I feel lost and without purpose. I have plenty of things to do- midterms to study for, journaling, writing letters, watching TV- multiple options both for work and play. But, nothing seems to be fitting the mood I'm in. I simply don't want to do anything but of course doing nothing isn't possible. Even when we feel like we're doing nothing we're clearly simply doing something even if it's just sleeping or lounging in bed. But I don't even want to do either of those lazy day activities. Not to mention that I don't have the time to do those activities because I have a midterm tomorrow that I must study for. I tried journaling thinking that a bit of soul searching may help me figure out what's going on that contributing to these feelings of confusion and lack of motivation. It didn't work. So here I am on my blog and writing at the moment actually feels kind of right. I think maybe a long for connection, talking with someone, an outlet for communication. Although I am not face-to-face with anyone reading this blog I am aware that my words are reaching someone. There is intention behind everything I write and I know at least one other person is this world is reading and hopefully appreciating what I have written. Perhaps that's what I need- connectedness. I will include a quote or two of course since that is the premise of the blog itself. The first is from Winnie-the-Pooh and it's actually something I don't agree with. It's a concession or counter point to my notion if you will-

“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” 

- A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

Is Pooh really doing nothing? Probably not. Maybe he's just eating or lazing around or not fulfilling any specific task. But, he's still doing something. Doing nothing is just not possible. The really question is what to do when we desire to do nothing?

I learned to be with myself rather than avoiding myself with limiting habits; I started to be aware of my feelings more, rather than numb them. 

- Judith Wright

I think this quote is more what I'm feeling and talking about. Maybe lost is just another word for numb. It is so easy to feel numb to yourself and the world around you when you're truly full of pain and sadness. We tend to feel numb when our life is too much bear. That's definitely the place I am in at the moment so I suppose I answered the question as to why I feel this way but now what? Well I have one more quote that resembles the act of using affirmations to me. But I'll try the advice- I'll try almost anything once!

When I feel depressed, I consciously form a smile on my face and act upbeat until the happy feeling becomes genuine.

- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

So I guess the cure is to smile, smile, smile. Smile til it hurts. Smile until you feel something. Smile until your numbness fades and you know what you want and need to do. Feel yourself and the world around you. Don't let the numbness overcome you and leave you barren emotionally. Life is fulling of feelings, good and bad, and the only way to actually live is to allow yourself to feel this emotions. Numbness can creep on you like a bad cold. You feel fine and don't see it coming and than BANG it hits you all at once and your hacking in bed with a fever. But numbing yourself is a cop-out. Fight against it and in doing so fight against your struggles, fears, and unpleasant emotions.

Smile, smile, smile,

All Smiles!

1 comment:

  1. Keep smiling!!!! You help motivate me.