Friday, August 24, 2012

Life Support

Remembering the People Who Matter Most

The Importance of Family


Today has been a pretty miserable day for me. As you can probably guess from my initial statement I did not end up seeing my friend in New York. Just as quickly as the plans came to be they dissolved. I received a text from my friend at 3:45 AM saying that I could no longer come. I was crushed. My rush of joy and excitement that I felt yesterday was gone and replaced with inconsolable disappointment, anger, and sadness. I am tired of people in my life letting me down. I am sick of choosing friends who end up hurting or disappointing me. And I cannot stand that other people don't treat me with the same consideration and kindness that I show toward them. So here I am- me, my non-refundable bus tickets, and my broken spirit are all here together in Philly. Well actually I am no longer in Philadelphia, I am in the suburbs, at home, with my family- the people who always love and me and who matter most. I often complain about them- the way they try to control me, how they don't trust me to run my own life, and all their annoying tendencies- but at the end of the day when the world has tossed me to the ground it is my family that is there to wipe off the dirt, heal my scrapes, and lift me back up. My family is the only support system I have that will never disappear. While sometimes I wish they would go away ultimately I am happy that they have not. For me my family is traditional- Mom, Dad, brother- but family is whatever you make it and whoever you choose to trust with your heart and your life. Family doesn't have to be the people you were born to. It can be made up of friends, extended family, pets. The important thing about family is that they will always be there for you, that you feel safe when you are with them, and that they want the best for you. As much as my family bugs me I can honestly say that I am lucky to have found all three of things within my nuclear family as well as many aunts, uncles, cousins, and fictive kin. Whenever I need boosting, cheering, or comforting I always wander back to the comforts of my home and my family. I have two quotes to share with you about family that I think help to reiterate some of what I have already said-

This is an oldie-
"A man travels the world over in search of what he needs, and returns home to find it."

- George Moore

As much as we look elsewhere in the world to find what we want or need, things that we think will fulfill us or make us happier. Ultimately what humans need to thrive in this world is companionship and love. I consider my family my life support because they provide me with both companionship and love that is unconditional and cannot be duplicated. No matter where I go or who I meet no one and nothing can replace my family or the safe haven that my childhood home provides. I may get sick of it and try to search elsewhere or be mislead by the delusion that there is more or something better out there and venture off. But when I am sick, sad, or lonely I always long to be home with the people who matter most, my family. The next quote ties in nicely with the first discussing the desire to be apart from our families yet at the same time wanting to be connected to them.

The family- "That dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor, in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to."

- Dodie Smith

Me and my "rock"-
As a visual person I love how Smith provides an image by comparing the family to an octopus. I can see myself trying to run but continuously getting looped in by the octopus' long and maneuvering tentacles. We all go through phases in our life, many of us in our teens and early twenties, when we don't want to have anything to do with our family. But I have learned as I have grown older and experienced more hardships in my life that I truly do need my family in order to live and thrive. I don't know where I would be without the comforting of my Mother, the caring of my brother, and the steadfast support of my Dad who I often see as my rock. We are so much alike and we fight constantly but we are always able to make up and he never fails me. There are still times when I wish to get away and I'll retreat to my apartment for a couple of day for some alone time but I always come back home. And the nice thing about home is that I know I am always welcome.

Share love with your family today and everyday,
xo

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