Monday, August 6, 2012

No Where to Run, No Place to Hide

Facing the Facts and Ourselves

The Inability to Escape Our Own Bodies and Minds

Don't listen- this cartoon lies!
So as some of you may have noticed I haven't posted in the last few days and I haven't journaled either. I spent the last few days sleeping or going out far more than I usually do. Retrospectively I can see that I was subconsciously attempting to run from recent news and escape myself. But when I woke up in the morning I had not escaped myself at all and did not make the situation better by any means- in fact I made it worse. The last four days of metaphorically running left me feeling worse in my body, exhausted, mentally confused, bruised (literally), and disappointed in myself and my behavior. I was trying so hard to escape my reality and I have learned that to do so is impossible. So today is a new start for me, I feel more alive, and back on track. It's time to face the facts. Yes, I gained weight because I needed to to be healthy, stay in school, and continue on with my life. Yes, I am uncomfortable in my body but numbing out and trying to escape this feeling is not productive. I need to face this discomfort, live with it, and learn from it. And lastly I have made some bad and definitely irresponsible decisions over the past few days but they do not need to define me nor do they have to be a part of my future. I can return to my true self, learn to live with my imperfections, and continue fighting on in the pursuit of my own happiness. At the end of the day we are our only constants- no matter our weight, shape, clothes, hair color, make-up- our insides remain the same (for the most part.) I forgot momentarily that just because the number went up on the scale that my core remained unaltered. In an attempt to run or hide from my reality I altered my behaviors and acted against my core beliefs and standards only to realize that this attempt only left me feeling worse and off equilibrium. Ultimately when it comes to yourself and your life there no where to run, no place to hide. In life we need to learn how to face the facts and deal with them or else we are sure end up on the path to no where or even self-destruction. The following quote perfectly summarizes the point I have been trying to make-

"And remember, no matter where you go, there you are." 

- Confucius

Give yourself a hug and reclaim the true you-
Thank you Confucius for putting so simply the point I have been attempting to make with my long winded and probably difficult to follow entry. Perhaps I would have been better off simply using this quote rather than attempt to say anything of worth or meaning. But as always I like to give a bit of insight into my life, let you know where I am coming from, and explain why I have chosen the specific quote. Today I am choosing to leave the mistakes of the last few days behind me and reclaim myself- my core- and face the realities of my life. We have the ability to reclaim ourselves at any moment and I am choosing right now. I don't recognize or like the person I have been recently and I don't plan on allowing this person to ever reappear. On this note I'd like to share one more quote with you-

"Looking back, you realize that a very special person passed briefly through your life, and that person was you.  It is not too late to become that person again."  

- Robert Brault

The most special person that can impact and change your life is you. You have the ability to choose how this person affects you and when they appear. Don't wait! Allow yourself to reclaim this "very special person," the true and most authentic you. As Confucius said "no matter where you go, there you are"- since we can't escape ourselves we might as well be the best selves we can be.

Reclaim yourself and your life,

1 comment:

  1. Thank g d your BACK! I missed you.